To a New Beginning
by Brias313
Summary: Jax Teller wakes up in the hospital after his accident with the semi truck that was supposed to kill him. When he becomes intrigued with his doctor, Scarlett, and her with him, Jax has to make the decision to start over, or go back to his old life. **Post season 7. Better explained in the first chapter!** -DISCLAIMER: I own nothing in regards to Sons of Anarchy, only my characters!
1. Wake Up Call

_**Hello everyone! This is my second story, my first Jax. Inspiration struck one night when I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd get to writing :) This story is gonna have its ups and downs, but it's going to be a bit darker and dramatic than my other story. It mainly follows the story line of the show, but somethings are changed, and those'll be explained throughout the chapters. Also, it's rated M for language and later chapters. Let me know what you think, good or bad! Enjoy :)**_

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **Wake Up Call**

 **Jax POV**

I woke up in the hospital with the biggest fucking headache of my life. What the actual fuck? A fucking _semi truck_ couldn't fucking kill me?! I wanted to be dead. I wasn't good for anybody anymore. My boys deserved better, so did my club. Wendy, Nero. Everyone. My wife was dead. My mother who killed her was dead. My dad was dead. My step-dad who killed him was dead. My best friend was dead. My little brother was long gone. What the fuck else did I have? I wasn't gonna go back to the club, and even if they found out I was alive... Would they take me back or go through with Mayhem? Fuck.

My left leg was elevated and in a huge, white cast. My right wrist was stuck in the plaster, too. Slowly, I felt my face. I had cuts all over. Even slower, I touched my head and felt the bandages. A sudden feeling of nauseousness hit me like the fucking semi. I tried to get up, but went right back down on the bed when I got dizzy and weak. Fuck, I must've lost a shit load of blood.

I grabbed the bed pan and puked this nasty yellowish green shit up. It hurt, tasted bad, and pissed me off. Why the hell couldn't I have died?! I'd be with Tara, maybe. Maybe Heaven was real. I'd be with her, then. Be with everyone I needed in my life.

The feeling of emptiness I got when I found Tara's bloody body came into my body again. I punched the uncomfortable hospital mattress and began to cry just as a bunch of heart monitors began beeping like crazy. Fuck this.

A few nurses stopped outside my door and shouted for some person named Scar. I was confused as to why none of them were helping me, until, finally, the mystery person stepped into my room.

She was a woman full of smiles. She had hazel eyes with this dyed, dark purpleish hair that was so dark you'd think it was brown in certain lighting. She continued to grin as she shut off the monitors.

"You doing okay, Jackson?" Her eyes were wide with concern. It kinda had me worried, too. "You went through a bad accident. Been out for almost three days now. Do you remember any of it?" Scar sat down in a chair that was near my bed. I eyed her when she tried to comfort me by touching my hand with her own.

I sat up a bit as I nodded. "Yeah, actually," I informed with a laugh. "I remember it all. Why aren't I handcuffed to this bed or somethin'? Weren't there cops chasing me?" My eyes were wide now. Well fuck, if I was alive, I didn't wanna spend my years in lock up.

Scar tilted her head before shaking it. "No, no cops," she laughed lightly. She stood up and rounded the bed to get to the foot of it to grab my chart. "Your brain could possibly be producing a scenario that didn't happen. It occurs sometimes in patients with severe head trauma. We'll have to monitor you for a while, but I think it'll go away in time." She smiled brightly again and, even though it killed me to think this when I was so close to being with Tara, she was beautiful.

She was beautiful in a nonconventional way, though. The way her hair fell out of her messy bun on top of her head and the way wearing no makeup looked great on her were getting to me. "So, uh, are you my doctor?" I wondered, wanting to get my mind off of her appearance.

After raising an eyebrow, Scar nodded while walking back to the chair. "That'd be me, Dr. Morrison," she sighed and crossed her legs. The scrubs even made her look nice. "I hate the whole last name thing, it feels so formal. I like to try and build a better relationship than that. Feel free to call me Dr. Scarlett, Dr. Scar, or just Scar. Whatever works for you." Scarlett. I liked that. That fit her.

"Morrison, huh? Like Jim?" I raised an eyebrow and hoped she'd get the reference. I felt like a tool with the whole still being alive thing, so I had to mask it somehow...

Scarlett chuckled loudly. Her laugh was annoying yet lovable at the same damn time. She caught her breath and replied, "No, no relation. I wish though!" After a few more laughs from the both of us, her face began to get serious. "Okay, Jackson, on a serious note, what were you doing out there? The way the truck hit, it looked intentional. I'm gonna need you to be honest with me. It'll make your treatment a lot easier on the both of us, trust me. I won't share this information with anyone you don't want me to." Her hand touched mine again, and I stared at it for a few moments, relishing in the comfort it actually did give me.

The way she was speaking to me made me feel like I was some dying kid who just got diagnosed with cancer. I didn't know if I should appreciate her being so careful with me, or be pissed off for the same reason. "It's just Jax, Scar," I smirked nonchalantly. She raised both her eyebrows quickly and smirked back before her face got professional again. "Yeah. I tried to kill myself. Got nothin' to live for, which you probably know." I looked at her suspiciously. I knew I was in St. Thomas from the looks of it, so she had to know about the club, about Tara, about me.

Surprisingly, she shook her head with a shrug. "Actually, Jax, I'm fairly new here. Didn't really get involved in all the town drama quite yet." Scar smirked once more and I had to look away. Having these thoughts about girls at Diosa was one thing, but another normal woman all together? Especially another doctor? How could I do that to Tara? "I'm gonna be treating you for a while, but you're gonna need to see a psychologist, as well. Procedure calls for it, no matter why you did what you did. I'll send one of the nurses in to test your memory, then explain where we're gonna go from here. We'll get you back to normal, sweetheart." She stood and patted my shoulder.

"Shit, I'll never be normal. Thanks, though, darlin'," I quietly said with a small nod. She returned the gesture and left me alone. Alone. Like I was always gonna be.

* * *

I dreamt of Tara that night. When those woke me up with tears, I fell back asleep only to get woken up by dreams of the semi hitting me again. Great. I was even more fucked up.

One of the dreams had me screaming. Scarlett rushed in with a concerned face. "Everything okay in here?!" She inquired bewilderedly. I knew it was only because she was my doctor, but her caring for me gave me a warm feeling inside. "Are you in pain?" Scar got close to me and I froze up. I didn't know what to do. "Anybody home?" She smiled, and I was brought back into the moment.

Quickly, I nodded. "Sorry, yeah, I'm fine," I stuttered hastily. "Just a bad dream. You're still here this late?" I raised an eyebrow at her hoping to change the subject. I didn't wanna discuss my shit.

She smiled sweetly again as she shrugged and told me, "Yeah, I am. I don't have anything else to do, and I love my patients, so I work." She took a seat next to my bed. "I'm one of those super weird crazy people who actually love their job." I noticed how tired she looked when she laughed a bit and touched the chain around her neck. I couldn't see what was at the end of the necklace, but it intrigued me, just like she did. There was something different about her. Something that made her so invested in what she did; something I wanted to find out about.

I laughed with her for a bit. "I used to love my job, too," I quietly admitted. I didn't even know if some people would call my fucked up way of earning a living a job, but it felt like one. "That was before, though." I let my gaze drift to my folded hands. It hurt to even think of the good times.

Scar cleared her throat and muttered, "Before you lost your wife?" My eyes shot to her with both surprise and a small amount of anger. "I'm sorry. After our talk earlier, I checked you out, Jax Teller. I'm a curious person. You went through some fucked up shit." I chuckled once as she shook her head. The curse words sounded so adorable coming out of her doctoral mouth.

"Have... Have you told anyone I'm alive?" I questioned with a gulp. I didn't want the club to find out yet. I didn't want Wendy or Nero knowing, either. I'd yet to think about what I was gonna do about the club, and even worse, I didn't know what I was gonna do about my boys.

Giving me a sympathetic smile, Scarlett shook her head. "The only thing the paper and news reported was that there was a bad accident, and that it was unclear if any deaths had occurred," she informed me in a soft voice. I let out a huge breath of relief. I had more time. "I'll deny it if you ever repeat this, but, I get why you did what you did."

Our eyes locked for a second, and I realized I couldn't read her. I couldn't tell if she was just trying to build that close relationship she talked about with me or if she was serious. I looked away before closing my eyes. "I doubt that," I whispered back, almost inaudibly.

When my eyes opened again I could see Scarlett was taken aback by my response at first. She quickly straightened herself out and said, "You wanted to give everyone a fresh start. Your kids, your motorcycle club, your friends... You wanted them to move on from you." The soft voice she'd used just a few minutes before was replaced by this hard, clean tone that made me see her in yet another new light. Her smile was gone; her face was nothing but truthful. "You wanted to let everyone start over. Everyone but yourself."

My eyes widened slightly at her bluntness. She had me pegged. "It was my only way out. I had to get away... Let everybody live without me," I pathetically replied. Saying all of this out loud made me feel like a piece of shit. I'd tried to leave so many people behind without even thinking of how they'd see it. My brothers knew it was what I wanted and needed, so they didn't dare try to stop me, no matter how upset it made them. Nero was hurt, but understood. Wendy didn't really know, and all the boys would be told was that their daddy had to go away. What the fuck was wrong with me?

I let my small tears turn into sobs, something I hadn't let happen since I found Tara. I didn't even cry this hard when I killed Gemma. Scarlett grabbed my hand in both of hers and attempted to hush me. "It's gonna be okay, Jax. You're gonna be able to fix this all somehow. You're gonna be alright." Her voice was soft again, and it was comforting. It reminded me of both my wife and mother, which was a dangerous combination. "I'm gonna help you through this. I promise."

* * *

 **Scarlett POV**

The morning after my very personal talk with my newest patient I was a complete mess. I got home around four in the morning and was up until about six. Having to be up again by nine, it wasn't my best of nights. I was used to no sleep, I was a doctor, for Christ's sake, but that night was different. The sleep I got was far from rejuvenating. I could only think, well, worry, about Jax.

I didn't tell him every thing I knew, but I guessed he assumed I knew a lot. Every person I spoke to about him told me to keep my relationship with him minimal, to treat him and get out with my life. I couldn't, though. I had to know his side of the story. I had to know _him._

Smiling at a few of my coworkers, I made myself a coffee in the break room. I noticed a pair of nurses watching me as they whispered to each other. I wasn't in the mood for that bullshit. "Can I help you?" I wondered loudly when I got close to them. They both froze. "Are you guys in high school? Gossiping from afar? C'mon, tell me what's so interesting that you had to stalk me while I got myself some caffeine." My hands went to my hips and a sarcastic smile grew on my face.

The nurses exchanged a look before one cleared her throat and admitted, "We were talking about your new patient, Jax Teller. We don't think you should treat him, Scar." They both were fearful, and I felt slightly proud of myself. I was too nice to not at least be a little intimidating.

"Are you gonna tell me why you think this?" I rolled my eyes at having to ask. I knew I was one of the best doctors in this place, that's why I was hired, and why I was assigned to be Jax's doctor in the first place.

Nurse two looked down. "It's nothing against you," she quietly argued. "It's just... You create such a great relationship with your patients. That's a good thing... In most cases. We only care about you, Scarlett! Anybody who has a 'good relationship' with Jax Teller gets hurt. He ended up marrying the last doctor he got close with, and we all know how that ended!" They nodded in unison and watched for my reaction with wide, eager eyes. They actually thought I'd take their advice.

I grinned and put a hand on each of their shoulders. "I've heard it all already, ladies," I sighed, trying to remain polite. I'd never drop a patient. Not unless it was the absolute best choice for _their_ sake. "He's a fragile man right now, and he doesn't scare me. Nothing that comes with treating him does. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make my rounds." I patted their shoulders and walked away before I said what I was _really_ thinking.

After going through the adorable Mr. Humphrey's breathing exercises with him, I entered Jax's room with a smile. He was chuckling at something on TV, and it was refreshing to see.

He shut the TV off and grinned. "Mornin', Doc!" He cheered. His whole attitude was bright today. It made me feel nice. "I feel great today, thanks for askin'." Jax's grin morphed into that little smirk I caught him doing a few times before. I felt myself start to blush, so I turned to grab his chart.

I took his vitals, and when the flushing of my face subsided, I faced him again. "I gotta check your head today, bud," I regretfully told him. I giggled when he scowled in response. "It's gonna be unpleasant for both of us, trust me. It's gonna be nasty." I flashed him my smile that got all of my older male patients to take their meds, and he was the one turning red.

Leaning over him, I undid Jax's bandages. He stiffened underneath me, and I felt like an idiot for involuntarily shoving my boobs in his face. I chose to ignore it all as I inspected his bald head and immense amount of stitches. Everything looked good, luckily. There was still nothing as nasty as a large recovering head wound, though.

After mentally composing myself, I stepped back and smiled at my patient. "You're healing great, Jax. You might be outta here faster than we thought," I joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. "How's everything else? Any severe pain?" I quirked an eyebrow at him and scribbled his progress down on the chart

Jax slowly shook his head. His eyes were downcast. "I'm alright," he lied through gritted teeth. He had only complained of pain once so far. With what he went through, there was no way he was 'alright.'

I sat down in my usual spot to the left of the bed and informed him, "You don't have to act tough here. You're in a damn hospital! I know it hurts." His eyes gradually moved up to meet mine as I touched his hand softly like I had before. I knew it comforted him from the way he reacted. "I'll get you more medicine. All you have to do is ask me. I'm at your beck and call." I winked and squeezed his hand. I was relieved when he laughed again.

"Thank you," Jax breathed. "For last night. And now. It's helping me cope, I guess. I'm glad you're my doctor." Something in his eyes changed when the words left his mouth. Something that made me both elated and scared.

Not able to rid myself of the smile I had, I looked down to avoid his gaze. "Yeah, me, too," I nodded. It was the truth. Despite everyone's warnings, I was happy I was the one working on him. "You know, if you ever wanna talk about what happened, or anything, I'm here. You don't have to keep it bottled up anymore." I allowed myself to glance at him once more as I offered a sympathetic smile. He was still watching me when I stood up.

Our eyes were on each other until I turned to leave. I was stopped, though, when Jax called after me. "How do you know me so well without even talking to me?" He questioned. His tone wasn't accusatory. It was more curious and amused.

I turned back to him with the same smile I had when I entered the room. "Let's just say we have more in common than most people would think."


	2. Whoops

_**Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited, and reviewed this story already! It means a lot! I'm glad you all like it so far :) As you'll find out, I'm gonna explain the things I had differ with the show throughout the story. It's easier than just saying 'oh this and this and this are all different.' Also, there's gonna be some time jumping so I can get on with the story. Scarlett being Jax's doctor is a big part of the story, but it's not the only part, so I don't want it all just to be with him in the hospital!**_

 _ **Thank you all again for reading! As always, let me know whatcha think!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 **Whoops**

 **Scarlett POV**

It'd been about a week since Jax woke up. I tried to stay away from him and keep things professional, but every time I went to check on him, we'd end up having another deep conversation. He told me about his dad, his club, and some of the things they'd been through over the years. I could tell he was withholding some of the serious details, but I didn't mind. It was just nice to have him let it all out.

I was signing discharge papers when I saw some men causing problems with a few of the nurses. I swallowed hard when I saw they were wearing Sons cuts, and I made my way to them. "Gentlemen, can I help you?" I smiled professionally as I eyed them. One of their cuts said 'President,' the other 'V. President.'

The president turned to me. He looked me up and down. "Are you a doctor, lass?" He was Scottish, and intimidating as fuck. I nodded while attempting to keep a brave front. "Good. Then yer privy to quite a bit of information, aren't ya?" He raised an eyebrow at me as his vice president stepped forward.

The VP stared me down. I felt like his cold, blue eyes could see my damn soul. "Depends on what type of information you're looking for," I responded calmly. I knew what they were looking for. That's why I discussed changing Jax's name on the file with him and a few admins for his safety. Everyone was on board, thankfully.

"Is there a Jackson Teller admitted in here?" Vice President asked. He made a move to get closer to me. "It'd be in everyone's best interest if you were honest with us, doll." I had to admit to myself that they were scaring me. I didn't let it show, though. I'd taught myself to keep that strong face no matter what.

Sighing, I shook my head at them. From their expressions, I could tell my attempt to seem tired of them was working. "No, there's no Mr. Teller here," I fibbed with yet another smile. "Are you worried about this man? Do you need to file a missing persons report?" My face turned to concern, so I didn't seem like a completely shitty person.

The two officers shared a look of understanding before the Scottish man pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down a number. Handing it to me, he ordered, "Give us a call should he show up. You heard of the truck accident, aye?" I nodded to him again. "No reports of death, no reports of survival. Seems a little fishy, lass. We think our friend might have been involved." Another thing I was glad for; being a doctor meant a decent relationship with authorities. They'd agreed to not release any information until their investigation was over, and that was at the earliest.

My eyes flickered between the two men. Now that they weren't trying to intimidate information out of me, I saw what this situation was really doing to them. They both looked exhausted and hurt. "I'm sorry," I offered with a look of compassion. "If I were to contact you, whom would I be asking for?"

"This is our business's line, so you can ask to speak with anyone from the club," VP told me softly. "It'd be better if you asked for Chibs here, or me, Tig, though. Keep this as small as possible." He smiled at me and I didn't have to act comfortable anymore. The men seemed nice, but from what Jax had told me, if they wanted to, they could hurt him.

Looking at the number again, I quickly nodded to them. "Of course. I'll be sure to give you guys a call if something comes up." My words were sincere. If Jax wanted to be found out, I'd let them know. If not, business as usual.

Chibs and Tig shared one last smile with me before getting into the elevator. I waited for the doors to close to rush to Jax's room. A nurse was cleaning his head when I busted through the door. He laughed at me, while the nurse looked annoyed. Bitchy fucking nurses.

I rolled my eyes at him and smiled at her. "Nancy, can you finish up here so I can have a minute with Mr. Teller?" I pleaded, making sure she heard the seriousness in my voice. She nodded, and in a few minutes she was wrapping his head back up.

Jax sighed as he settled himself back into the bed. "I used to have awesome long hair, you know," he grumbled while flipping through TV stations. Our friendship was becoming more and more casual, despite my efforts, and I felt like he was happy he could be himself with me.

Laughing, I plopped down on the foot of his bed. "I do know," I told him with a smirk. His look of surprise only made me laugh more. "Who do you think operated on you?" His jaw dropped and I grinned.

The expression on his face suddenly changed. "I guess another thanks is in order, Doc," he joked as his eyes fell to his hands again. "You saved my life, didn't you?" Jax's voice was so low it was quieter than a whisper. I couldn't tell whether he meant it in a way that'd be grateful or resentful. I knew he wanted to die. Would he be mad if he knew I got in the way of that?

I was the one looking away this time. "Well, me and a few other doctors," I quietly said with a shrug. "I know you didn't wanna wake up. I'm sorry, but I just did my job, and I'm glad I did." I stood up and looked at him sternly. We were friends now, and I wouldn't have one of my friends wanting to be dead. Fuck that. Life was much more of a gift than that. Sure, I understood why Jax tried to kill himself at first, but it was pissing me off that he couldn't appreciate he was still around.

I turned around and went to leave his room. I wasn't gonna let myself argue with a patient if I could help it, friends or not. "Scar, stop," Jax groaned. After a quick sigh, I turned around and crossed my arms. He smirked at me. "Thank you. I realized that what I did wasn't gonna solve anything, no matter how much I don't wanna be here. You sorta gave me a second chance. I really do appreciate all you've been doin' for me, darlin'." I touched the chain around my neck when he mentioned second chances. If only we all could get one.

Jax was smiling slightly, but his eyes were as sad as they were curious. "I told you, you can fix things. No matter what that entails. If you want to, you can." I stepped closer to him as he started to nod. Seeing his head again reminded me that it distracted me from what had rushed me to him in the first place. "Shit, I almost forgot. There were two guys here asking around for you. Tig and... Chibs, I think it was. I told them there wasn't a Jax Teller here. You know them?" His eyes widened and he froze. His face alone answered the question for me.

After a few deep breaths, Jax nodded hastily, and stuttered, "Y-yeah. From the club. Chibs was m-m-my VP, he's pres now. Fuck." His head whipped around as if he was searching for a way out. It was like he was calculating what he needed to grab and how long it'd take him to pack it all. He was panicking.

I grabbed his hand like I always did. It wasn't the first anxiety attack he had in front of me, and I had a feeling it wouldn't be the last. "Hey, calm down. They can't get to you," I assured him softly. His eyes were still flickering all around the barren room. I grabbed his chin to steady his face and make him look me in the eye. I smiled at him. "You're gonna be alright, Jax. Nobody knows you're here. I'm not gonna let anyone get to you, okay? You need to relax. Take a deep breath, count to ten." He did as instructed before offering me a smile. After I reciprocated the expression, I nodded to him once and left the room. He'd be okay, he just needed his time alone to compose himself.

The friendship I had with Jax was only continuing to grow, and it freaked me out. I was friendly with all my patients, but none of those felt wrong like they did with Jax. I felt like I was crossing some invisible line. That this was all only gonna lead to pain and trouble. I couldn't stay away from him, though, even if I wanted to. A part of me kept having to go back to his room and have those conversations. I never thought a patient would make my mind so hectic.

* * *

 **Jax POV**

They'd already started to look for me. I expected it, but it still scared the shit out of me. I didn't know if they'd kill me, take me back, or what the fuck they'd do. Hell, I didn't even know what I wanted them to do, or what I wanted to do. I wanted to be dead, but I also wanted to live. I missed the club and wanted back in, but I also wanted to try and live my life without it.

I was happy I had Scarlett to calm me down and to talk to. I'd told her about some of the shit I'd done, but none of the super bad stuff, like killing my fucking mom. She told me they found her and Unser's bodies, and the written confession I made Gemma do before I shot her. I could tell Scarlett suspected I did it, but she didn't press me on it. She knew I'd tell her in time, just like I told her about the drugs, the guns, the women. She understood, and she was sweet enough to listen through it all. I'd probably eventually end up spilling my guts to her she was just that easy to talk to.

It killed me that I was becoming so close to her. The last thing I wanted was for Scarlett to get hurt because of me. I didn't care that I hadn't known her long. We were friends and she gave a shit about me, and that meant something. Her friendship was helping me cope with what I did and the results of it. I could never do enough to repay her.

She still let off this feeling of mystery. The way she looked down when I said some things and the way she touched her necklace confused and interested me. It felt too soon to ask her personal questions, but I wanted to know. I needed to know, actually. It was fucking eating away at my brain anytime she did either of those things.

I needed to figure out what I was gonna do about Scarlett. I didn't wanna admit it, but I liked having her around. That was only gonna make shit harder. I'd have to get away from her, forced or not, when I got out of the hospital. Nobody around me survived, and we both knew that.

She came in for the fourth and last time of the night. She was all bright and smiley like always, and that filled me with happiness. "Headin' out?" I wondered as I scooted to be able to sit up. She once told me I was the first patient she'd come to see every morning, and the last before she left. I knew she was feeling the same way as I did about our friendship.

Scar sighed when she grabbed my chart. "Yep, in a few," she mumbled with a yawn. She was looking more worn out every day. "You need or want anything before I go? Snack? Meds? Deep talk as usual?" She glanced at me over the clipboard while she attempted to suppress a laugh. She failed, of course.

I grinned at the sound. I was getting used to it, and I liked it. So many things about her were growing on me. "Hmm, let me think... I could use a deep tissue massage from my favorite doctor." I winked at her before bursting out in laughter from the dirty look she threw in my direction. Another thing I liked about spending time with her: my joking flirting, her harsh turn downs. Ouch.

After another sigh that was accompanied by an eye roll, Scar hit my shoulder. "Have I ever told you that you're a huge asshole?" She teased with a playful smirk. "Seriously, though. You wanna talk about those guys showin' up? I don't want you worrying about this all night." She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me that stern look she did when she wanted to get something out of me.

That was about the tenth time she asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I didn't. I wanted to forget it happened. I didn't wanna worry about it until I was out of here and actually _had_ to worry. "No, Scarlett. For the last damn time, I don't want to talk about it. Just drop it." I shook my head and diverted my eyes from her. She'd try to coax and pressure me into it, and I didn't want to.

"Last chance..." Scar raised her eyebrows as she drew out the words. Slowly, I let myself look at her with the straightest face possible. I shook my head one last time. "Alright, fine. I won't push anymore. I'll see you in the morning, killer." She smiled with a wink as she touched her chain again.

I had to ask. I couldn't wait. "Scar? What's with the chain?" She instantly paused after the words left my mouth. She seemed surprised I noticed. It was hard not to, she was always toying with the fucking thing. "Scarlett?'

She shook her head to bring herself back into the moment. After clearing her throat, she looked back at me. "That's personal," she told me quietly on a single laugh. "I gotta go. See you tomorrow." She turned and practically sprinted out of the room she left so fast. Clearly, I was right in assuming it was too soon to ask.

It still held my interest, though. What was she hiding? Why wouldn't she just tell me? God fuckin' knows I told her most of my damn life story. She couldn't tell me one detail? There was something up with her. I'd find out her secret one way or another, whether she told me or not.

* * *

I shouldn't have poked my nose in Scarlett's business by asking about the chain. Over the course of four days, she hardly talked to me. Her stops in my room were brief and to the point. She'd fill out my chart, take my vitals, ask if I'd need anything then leave. It was kinda bumming me out.

Without talking to her, all I had was the weird psychologist they were making come see me. I guess that's what I deserved for trying to kill myself. He asked questions, but didn't seem interested when I answered. He was only asking because he had to, and Scarlett wasn't like that; she gave a fuck. This guy only wanted to get in and get out to get his paycheck.

Luckily, she came in right after that douche left. She shot me a look before going for my chart. "You gonna stay for more than two fucking minutes this time?" I snapped. I didn't even bother sitting up for her like I usually did. Being mean probably wasn't the best way to get her to stay, but if she was gonna be a bitch, I'd be a dick.

Scarlett paused before chuckling devilishly and staring me down. "I'm a _doctor_ , Jax. You're not my only damn patient." She fought back with just as much acid in her tone as I had. "Feel okay? Need me to patch up your fucking boo-boos?" She scribbled away viciously at the paper, not sparing me any other looks.

I gulped down my pride and looked at her sheepishly. "I'm sorry," I sighed. She looked at me quizzically. "Just sucks not bein' able to vent to you. You're in and out at the drop of a hat. I didn't mean to offend you by askin' about the necklace. I was just curious." I shrugged and hoped she'd understand. She knew a ton about me, I wanted to know about her.

She relaxed as she put the clipboard back at its place on the end of the bed. "It's fine. I just don't like talking about it is all. Sorry I got weird." Scarlett smiled at me and the world was okay again. We were both comfortable and back to normal. "What's been going on?" She pulled her chair up and sat down with her legs crossed. I smiled, knowing that meant she was ready to listen.

I don't know why, but I stared at her for a moment. Just seeing her was making me happy. It fucked me up to think about her like that, though. That was how I thought about Tara. I couldn't think of Scar that way; I wouldn't. We were nothing more than friends, and I wouldn't ever let it get farther than that. Quickly, I looked away. "I, uh... I really hate that fuckin' psychologist." I laughed my awkwardness off. How could I be so fucking weird around her all of a sudden? "He's a real prick."

Scarlett giggled her annoyingly cute giggle and nodded. "Yeah, Dr. Mann isn't the best. Doesn't really care about his patients," she informed me. I was still looking anywhere but in her direction when she touched my hand. "You okay? You're the one being weird now." Both of her eyebrows arched in curiosity as she watched me closely.

Again, I laughed away the awkwardness. "No, no, what are you talking about? I'm fine," I stammered and waved her off. Fuck. She really did have me fucking pegged. "How was your day?"

"You're really asking me about my day?" Scar laughed again. I joined in when she almost fell out of the chair. "It was good. Yours? Have any funny nurse stories for me?" She bit her lip expectantly and leaned in close. She was really fucking my head up with how attractive she was becoming to me.

I adjusted myself in the bed as I nodded. "Of course! Nancy wants me, but what else is new?" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively at her, only causing both of us to chuckle and laugh even more. God, I loved spending time with her. "Today she 'accidentally' dropped the thermometer and tried to show off her ass when she picked it up." I shook my head in disgust. Nancy was sweet, but I wasn't into cougars.

Scar was grinning at that point. "Oh come on!" She shouted happily. "You know you love her. I could set you guys up! Make up a cute little hospital date. I think it'll work." She winked at me before she once again played with the necklace. What the fuck was on the end of that thing?!

My eyes fell to it as soon as her hand touched it. She noticed, and quickly stopped herself as the smiled left her face. "Scar, come on. You gotta giv-"

She immediately cut me off with, "Stop. I don't want to talk about it. Done and over with. It's my business, not yours." She stood up from the chair so fast it skidded when it was pushed out behind her.

I threw my head against the pillows and groaned. "I've told you pretty much my life fucking story. You won't let me know what that necklace is about?!" My voice was loud, and I knew she was gonna be pissed with me for yelling at her. I couldn't believe she wouldn't just fucking tell me. It couldn't be that big of a deal!

Her eyes were filled with fire. Her jaw was locked tight. "I don't want to talk about it," she repeated calmly. "Please, stop asking me."

For whatever reason, I couldn't stop pressing her. It was like I had no filter anymore. "We're friends, right? How come you can't just show me?" I threw my arms up in the air. It was aggravating me more than it should've. I knew it wasn't my business, but I couldn't fuckin' stop! "Scarlett, there's no reason why you can't tell me." I laughed mirthlessly to show how stupid her hiding this from me was.

Scar was pissed. "There is a fucking reason, Jax!" She roared. I knew then I went too far. "Yeah, we're friends, but I'm your fuckin' _doctor_! That comes first. My personal shit has absolutely nothing to do with you! Get that through your head!" She'd moved closer to me, only making her more intimidating.

"Whatever," I spat back, defeated. I averted my eyes from her as I felt my jaw tick with anger. I didn't wanna deal with it anymore. Fuck her.

She took a turn with the humorless laughter. "You're gonna be this big of a baby because I won't show you my necklace? Wow. Alright!" My head turned to her. I was read to give her my retort when I saw it. Scar had taken her chain and what was on the end of it out from underneath her shirt. It was an engagement ring. A bright, shiny, huge diamond.

My face contorted in confusion. "Woah. Shit, I-I... I'm sorry? What-"

My doctor interrupted me again. Only this time I was grateful. I wouldn't risk making myself look like a fucking tool again. "Yeah. It's my old damn engagement ring," she told me in a hushed, angry voice. "You're not the only one who's lost a fucking loved one, Jax." Her eyes were watery. Her face was turning red.

She looked away from me and wiped away her tears with force. I sighed and reached for her hand, which she yanked away from me. "I'm an asshole," I whispered on a small laugh. "I'm sorry."

Scar shook her head furiously. "I'm not doing this," she said, mostly to herself. "Not tonight." She stormed out of my room and left me speechless and feeling like the jerk I was. I finally had something going right, for the first time in a long time. A friend that I could count on; someone that I always wanted around. Like always, I had to screw it up. Fuck me.


	3. Healing Pains

_**Thank you to everyone who's favorited, followed, and reviewed! I'm glad so many of you like the story (:**_

 _ **To those who said you don't think the club would kill Jax and things like that: it's not a matter of what the club would or wouldn't do. It's what Jax thinks they might do, and his fear of going back to them because they were supposed to kill him! It's first person, so we're in his head! (:**_

 ** _As always, enjoy, and let me know what you think!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **Healing Pains**

 **Scarlett POV**

Weeks had passed since I showed Jax the ring. I took off almost the whole week after that, and when I'd see Jax, neither of us would say more than we had to. He knew I needed my space. It was that or he was pissed at me. Either way, I didn't care anymore.

Our 'friendship' was dissipating. It was becoming strictly professional again; the way it should've been all along. I was no longer happy to go to his room, and I didn't trudge through my day with my only upside being our long talks anymore. I was his doctor, he was my patient.

I didn't bother saying anything to Jax when I entered his room for the first time that day. If I did, he wouldn't say anything back. We shared a nod, but, otherwise, he ignored me. I took his vitals in silence. The only noise was the low hum of the TV, and the sound of me scribbling his information.

He kept eyeing me today, though. It was he first time he looked at me since the whole blow up. "You lose something over here?" I asked with a smirk. Okay, I couldn't lie; I missed the back and forth banter, but that was _it_.

Jax tried not to laugh. "Who knows," he replied with a sigh and a shrug. "They say I might be outta here soon if my head keeps healing like it is. Said the scar won't be as bad as they thought either." I could tell he wanted to grin, to be happy he'd be out of this damn hospital. His anxiety about what he was gonna do was apparent instead.

I nodded as I tried to make myself seem distracted. When my eyes locked on his, I knew it wasn't working. Jax knew I was focused on him again; I could tell by his smug smirk. "That's good, Jax. Real good," I sighed. "Need anything before I go?" His smirk disappeared when he shook his head. He'd hoped for me to actually talk to him this time, I could see that written all over his face. I wasn't gonna take his bait.

I mentally slapped myself for letting a smile creep it's way onto my face when Jax groaned and called after me. _You only care about him as a patient, Scarlett Renee,_ I scolded myself. Against my better judgement, I turned back. "You wanna talk to me about the whole ring and necklace?" Jax quietly wondered. Of course, I touched it when he spoke of it. "I know it's been a while since I was a dick and pressed you on it, and I thought I'd let everything chill out. Then I thought maybe you were right. Maybe we should just keep this shit doctor/patient. Fuck, I just fuckin' miss you, Scar! You're the best friend I've had in a while. The only thing that made me not be my typical douchey self. Will you sit down, please?" His eyes were wide and expectant. I smiled a little at the big, bad, bed-ridden biker pleading for me to just talk to him.

With a sigh, I did as requested and sat in my chair next to his bed. "I'm glad I could be that for you, I really am, but you were right on thinking we should keep this patient/doctor." I kept my tone soft and quiet, making sure my eyes avoided those beautiful, blue - nope. Not going there. "I do love having a good relationship with my patients but our friendship went too far. It crossed a line, got too personal. I don't know how or why, but-"

"There's too many buts in that spiel, darlin'," Jax interjected with a laugh. "Let me fix that for you. I was wrong on the patient/doctor thing. We've both been shitty through this, so, no. Our friendship didn't go too far... I did. I shouldn't have pushed you to show me that. I'm an asshole, that's been proven. Finally, I'll tell you how and why. You remind me of her... Of Tara... And I just can't get enough of that." My head shot up at his words as his went down. Had I really become that selfish? I wasn't his psychologist, but I was his doctor, and, fuck it, I was his fucking _friend_. I should've listened more. I should've let him open up to me more. We'd hardly talked about her. Fuck me, I was the asshole.

I did the only thing I knew would comfort him: touched his hand. He smiled almost instantly. "Tell me about her," I ordered with my usual grin. Everything Jax said was right. We were both assholes without having the other to vent to, no matter what the venting was about. In the short amount of time our relationship bloomed, we'd grown to need each other.

My efforts to stay away from Jax were always gonna fail, I realized. I couldn't stay away. He was intoxicating, interesting, and I secretly liked that he was a pain in my ass. One little apology and conversation and I was invested in him again.

Jax told me everything there was to know about his wife then. He went on for the longest time telling me of some of his favorite memories. It hadn't been that long since her death, I had no idea how he'd managed to cope so well. "How'd you get through it all?" I asked sheepishly.

He smiled his usual Jax smile before turning the tables and touching my hand this time. "It took a while to process," he admitted to me with a nod. "I went on this big rampage. Took everything out on everyone until I realized it was only makin' me feel good for a minute. After that, it became easier. Shit got normal again. Then, I got justice and peace." His eyes lost the light in them for a minute, probably at the memory of his mother being the murderer of his wife, but it quickly returned, and that was when I knew he was truly okay with what had happened. He'd put it to rest.

I paused, thinking of how to word a respectful response before deciding to just be blunt. "You killed Gemma, didn't you?" I made sure I whispered, for more than one purpose. Jax nodded slowly in response. "If I were in your position, I'd do everything the same. Shit, I practically have." I tried to fight the water that was hitting my eyes. Crying in front of Jax Teller wasn't something I wanted to do twice.

Jax propped himself up and scooted closer to me. His body was feeling better and they had him up and walking again with a crutch to get him back into the groove of things, so he was moving with more ease. He touched my face lightly with his good hand, and said, "It's alright, Scar. I'm not pushing this time, but as much as it sucked, talkin' about Tara and what happened helped." His fingers started to brush my cheek. I knew it was inappropriate, but it was so soothing. I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling for a moment. "I don't know if you've talked to anyone or talked at all, but you've never talked to Jackson Teller about it. I'm pretty great, darlin'." He wiggled his eyebrows, which inticed a small laugh outta me.

I nodded to him. I was ready for this. "I was engaged to the love of my life," I began, no longer able to keep my tears at bay. Jax wiped them from my face for me while I toyed with my ring and chain. "Edward James Sheridan. We were together in college, then when I went to med school, I ended things. I wanted to focus on myself, you know? We ran into each other at an engagement party, actually, for some mutual friends, and got together again. I was just about to start my residency, he was just about to end law school. He told me he'd follow me anywhere. Two years later, we were engaged. Honestly, I would've said yes if he woulda proposed a week into it, Jax." I laughed at the memories of how young and in love Eddie and me were.

Looking a little touched, Jax moved his hand from my face to my hand again. "That's sorta how Tara and I were," he added happily. "Together in high school until she dumped my ass to become a doctor. She wanted me to follow her, but I couldn't. I was too invested in joining the club. Fate got us back together when she was helpin' out with Abel though. Like you and Ed at the party. Did you guys ever end up tyin' the knot, or...?" I could tell he was dancing around asking what he really wanted to know: what happened to Eddie.

Surprisingly, my tears didn't come back this time when I shook my head. "No, we didn't. We moved to Lodi, though, got a nice big house. He said he'd follow me, but I of course followed him and made the drive for all my shit." Jax and I both chuckled. Talking about Eddie was lighting me up, inside and out. "I still live there, couldn't part with it. He... He, um, got in a bad car accident, about 3 months before the wedding. I was a wreck. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't really do much of anything. I worked to keep my mind off of it, and it just became a habit, that's why I'm here so much. God, I fucking miss him, Jax." The waterworks were back. They were full on sobs at that point, and I was beyond embarrassed. "Shit, I'm sorry." I ran my hands under my eyes as many times as I could to try stop my tears from falling.

Jax grabbed both of my hands and lowered them onto my lap before he scooted over in his bed again, only this time, in the other direction. I looked at him funny when he signaled for me to get in with him. "I won't tell if you don't," he joked with a convincing grin.

I was too upset to protest. I climbed right in and snuggled into his open arms, careful not to hit either of his casts. I cried into his chest the hardest I had since Ed passed. It sucked, but it felt good.

After a few minutes, I got out. Friends, doctor/patient, whatever, I didn't wanna push it. "Thank you," I murmured when I was completely calm. "I needed that, but, unfortunately, I've been in here way too long. The nurses are gonna start gossiping, Nancy'll get jealous." I winked at Jax as I backed away. He watched me with a grin, a different one than he usually had. I couldn't pick up on what it was, but I liked it. "Check on you later?" I bit my lip for God knows what reason.

He nodded a little too quickly, making me giggle. "I'll hold you to it, darlin'."

* * *

 **Jax POV**

Scarlett was opening up to me, and that made something inside me happy. She was stirring up feelings I hadn't felt since I first laid eyes on Tara. It freaked me out, but the need to see her and talk to her outweighed all of that.

I flipped through the TV after Dr. Mann left, and settled on the news. There was a story on about the accident, and how the cops were being tight lipped on everything. That I was grateful for.

The reporter went on to speculate who had been involved, and my heart skipped a beat when they said my name. "Teller, who's wife, Dr. Tara Knowles, was murdered not too long ago by his mother, Gemma Teller-Morrow, has affiliations to the local motorcycle gang, Sons of Anarchy. Teller-Morrow's body was found along with that of Wayne Unser's, retired Charming Police Chief, and her confession, in what looked like a murder-suicide," the reporter said in a serious tone. I was relieved my set up of my final murder was working how I wanted it to, but I was still the most nervous I'd been since Scar told me Chibs and Tig came by. "It's unclear on where Teller is, but authorities assure us they are looking into the matter, along with the truck accident and deaths of Teller-Morrow and Unser." I swallowed hard, knowing I needed to cover my ass as discreetly as possible.

I waited until Scarlett came back to my room. "I need you to do something for me," I told her as soon as she stepped through the door. She quirked an eyebrow. "Call Sheriff Jarry. Get her in here for me, Scar. Please. Now." I wasn't even looking at her at that point. I gritted my teeth together. I didn't want her to see that Jax, the dark, scary one. He was coming out, though, and I couldn't stop him.

* * *

A few hours later, Jarry showed up. She lightly knocked on my door before entering with Scarlett right behind her. "You wanted to see me?" Jarry wondered as she made her way towards me. "You're looking a lot better." She smiled and tried to lighten the mood, but I wasn't having it. Not then.

I stared at Scarlett before tilting my head, signaling her to leave. All I got in response was a shake of her head and a roll of her eyes. Looked like she was gonna see dark, SAMCRO Jax after all. "I need you to make sure they rule Wayne and Gemma's deaths a murder-suicide," I ordered coldly. Jarry wasn't one to always go along with me, but she did when it was right. I knew telling her to just drop it would take some convincing though. Especially if she thought I did it, which she of course suspected like everyone else. "I don't want to have to sit and be asked if I killed my mother and one of my closest allies, Jarry. Not after everything that's happened. That bitch killed my wife. She ruined my life, my sons' lives. I wish I'd been the one to do it, but I didn't." My eyes flashed to Scar who shifted nervously as the lie left my mouth. I think it scared her how good I was at this.

Jarry looked at my doctor, too, before staring at me with a long sigh. "I can't just not investigate Wayne's death," she argued and shook her head. "If it was only Gemma it'd be different, but Wayne deserves justice. Whether it's what it looked like or not, I owe it to him to find that out." She shrugged and eyed Scar again. "I know she's been helping you out, but you okay with the doc hearing all this?"

Scar stepped forward then, looking as brave as ever. "Sheriff, Mr. Teller is my patient as well as my friend. He can trust me. It'd be easier for all of us if you did too," she admonished with her small, doctorly smile. "We all know you've helped the club before. From what I've heard, Chief Unser did, too. Jax had no reason to kill him. Your justice has been found with that crazy woman who killed Tara, Wayne, and herself." Scarlett was standing tall compared to the sheriff. Her sticking up for me made me smirk. I liked this girl more than I thought.

Jarry noticed another look that Scar and I shared. "Friends, huh? That's all?" She laughed but stopped when I gave her a deathly glare. "You've been through so much, Jax. I've been trying my best to help you. Patterson's even been doing her part by saying she's not gonna look into you for anything unless she finds reason to. I've been telling the club I can't help them when they drop by my office demanding answers. I've got all my deputies keeping quiet on your situation. I'm not gonna drop Wayne's death. He was my friend." Her gaze held onto mine with force.

After gritting my teeth together again, I looked away and shook my head. "He was mine, too," I whispered. It was the truth. I didn't want to kill Unser, he was just in the way. "Jarry I need your help on this. I promise you won't have to lie and cover my ass for much longer. I'm gonna be out of here soon. I'll deal with my shit and pay the piper." I nodded before locking onto Scarlett's wide eyes. She was gonna disapprove of my plans, but when did I ever let somebody not agreeing with me stop me?

She paused for a while and looked all around the room, but after a moment, Jarry nodded. "Fine. I'll have my guys look into it for a day or two more before I call it off," she sighed, defeated. "I'm only doing this because I have a feeling you're being honest with me here, Teller. If I find out you killed him, or had anything to do with it, I'll hunt you down." Jarry pointed a finger at me, and glared for a while longer before turning and leaving.

As soon as the door shut, I let out a huge breath and relaxed in the bed. "Thank you," I said to Scarlett without looking at her. It seemed like I'd be spending a lot of time thanking her and apologizing to her while I was here.

I looked to her when she laughing mirthlessly. She had her hands on her hips. "You're gonna be out of here soon, that much you had right. But you'll 'deal with your shit and pay the piper?!' What the fuck, Jax?" She was frustrated with me, like I knew she would be. "You gonna go and tell the club you're alive? Get yourself killed?!" The anger in her voice grew as she yelled at me. I had to admit, her caring this much stirred up even more shit in me.

I couldn't help but grin at her. "I'll be fine," I assured her. Scar was coming towards me, something she did often, only this time, my palms began to sweat. My heart raced. Thank God I wasn't attached to those fucking monitors anymore. "Uh, can you go get me some water? Throat sorta hurts." I exhaled in relief when she stopped and nodded, before going out the door.

No woman had ever made me feel like that, not even Tara. I was always confident and witty, but Scar was starting to make me feel all jumbled up and confused. Fuck, I knew I had to get out of there as soon as I could.

* * *

About a week later, I got the cast on my leg taken off. It felt weird yet amazing to be able to walk on my own again. I'd need physical therapy for a while and I'd have a slight limp for a little bit, but it was worth it. Scar told me if my wrist healed like it was expected to, I'd be riding again in no time.

Scar was starting to notice that I'd been acting different. As much as I hated it, I had to start being colder and colder to her everyday. I couldn't let her know I was developing feelings, and I couldn't let said feelings grow anymore than they already had. I wouldn't bring her into my life and get her killed.

I had only a few more weeks in the hospital, and that was at most. I was happy to get out, but scared as hell at the same time. I needed to find a place to stay, and decide if I was gonna give myself up to the club or be on the run. The cops wouldn't help me for much longer, they'd only done as much as they had because they felt bad Gemma killed Tara, and because Scarlett had worked her persuasive magic on them.

As if on cue, my doctor came in, all smiles as usual. The smile that grew on my face was inevitable. Just her face lights me up. I felt like a teenager every time she came through that damn door, and that's why I had to try to put a stop to it all.

She paused when she got next to my bed. She was happier than usual. I tilted my head in question. "I have great news," she announced with a grin. "Your bandages are coming off for good! I just have to check your wound one last time, so excuse my tits in your face." Scar laughed as she leaned over me to undo the bandages. I tensed up like I always did when she did this.

I couldn't help but close my eyes and let her scent wash over me. It was fruity with a hint of disinfectant and that all around hospital smell. I loved it. It brought me this sense of comfort, sorta like that feeling you get when you're home. God this woman was getting me twisted.

Scar backed away, and a piece of me was sad, while another was relieved. One more minute and I woulda been hard as a rock. She grinned at me with the bandages in hand, and it was like her boobs _were_ in my face that last minute. I tried to sit up and rearrange myself quickly when she threw the bandages away, but there was no hiding it. I could only hope she wouldn't notice.

She was still smiling blissfully when she faced me again. "Wanna go for a walk?" Scar wondered. "I'm pretty much done for the night but I have like an hour until my shift's up. Be a doll and hang out with me!" Her smile and eyes were so bright and beautiful. How could I say no to that?

I had to turn her down, though. It didn't matter how much I wanted to be with her constantly. I had to say no, because if I went with her, I'd be breaking the promise to myself to push her away to keep her safe, and if I got up, she'd see how she really made me feel. "I'm kinda beat," I sighed. Lying to her killed me almost as much as the disappointed look on her face. "Next time." I nodded and tried to seem distracted.

Scarlett brushed some hair that fell down from her bun behind her ear as she looked at her feet. "Yeah, definitely," she mumbled, clearly hurt. Fuck I hated doing that to her. "See you tomorrow." She spared me one more of her winning smiles and I waved back, which also appeared to hurt her feelings.

I knew she was feeling shit for me, too, but I couldn't risk getting into things with her. I broke the promise I made to myself to keep Tara away multiple times, and look where that got us. That wouldn't happen again. Not with Scarlett. I couldn't let it.


	4. Homeward Bound

_**I apologize for taking so long with this chapter! For a while, I was getting the worst case of writer's block, then I kept getting sick, and life just happened! My laptop also broke, so I have to do updates on my phone for a while, so they're gonna take a while to come out. Don't worry, though! I'll try not to take as long as I did with this one! I'll hopefully be updating my other story sometime soon, when I get the time and chance to be able to watch the show on Netflix to make sure I have everything right!**_

 _ **Thank you to everyone who's read, reviewed,**_ _ **followed, and favorited this story so far! You all are awesome :)**_

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

 **Homeward Bound**

 **Jax POV**

It was finally the week I was gonna get the hell out of the hospital. Naturally, I was both excited and nervous as hell. I was still drawing a blank when I thought of a place I could stay or any ideas on how I was gonna own my club shit.

Things on the Scarlett front were rocky. I couldn't lie, some days I'd break and be how I normally was with her. I couldn't help it. That smile was contagious, and I'd never get enough of that damn laugh. I was making progress in pulling away, though. My rude and dismissive comments would get me dirty looks, but if it kept her safe and away from me, I'd endure it.

Something I didn't realize I missed like crazy was being able to shower by myself. I felt like I was constantly in there, but I loved it. The warm water on my skin and on my healing wounds felt better than losing my fucking virginity. It was glorious.

I'd just gotten out and was brushing my teeth in my small bathroom when there was a knock at the door. "Yeah, come on in," I shouted through the toothpaste. "I'm in the bathroom!" I figured it was either Nancy, who'd already seen everything during my sponge baths, or Scarlett, who I had to act like I didn't care if she saw anything with. Of course, with my luck, it was the latter.

I only had a towel hanging on my hips when she stepped into the door frame. I spit out the remaining water/toothpaste mixture and wiped my face before I turned to her. Scar was visibly tense from looking at my naked torso. A smirk made its way on my lips as I brushed past her to enter the room area again. I was glad I could still have that effect on women, especially her, even if I was supposed to be not caring.

She composed herself and smiled nervously. "I wanted to talk to you about something," she murmured. I felt her eyes watch me as I gathered up the hospital clothes I was forced to wear, considering I didn't have any of my own. "You wanna get dressed first?" Scar's eyebrows were both raised in question, and I smirked again.

Shrugging, I decided to make this as fun as I could before I said goodbye to her forever. I sat on the end of the bed. "Nah, I can wait," I replied nonchalantly. "What's up?" I faked a yawn. I'd do anything to seem like a huge dick to her. Make this all easier.

She sighed and seemed a little annoyed, but she nodded. "Well, I was wondering if you figured out what you were gonna do about your living situation when you get outta here," she began cautiously. It was safe to say I was more than confused. I had no idea where she was gonna take this. I tilted my head, telling her to go on. "If you don't, I was thinking maybe... I don't know, maybe if you wanted, y-you could come stay with me for a while. Just until you get your feet back on the ground." Scarlett was biting down on her cheek hard after the words left her mouth.

My eyes shot open. I wasn't expecting that at all. I couldn't stay with her. I had to do the exact opposite of that! "Scar, I woul-"

Hastily, she interrupted me. "I'm not meaning it in any way other than a decent human being trying to help out a struggling one," she assured me with her hands up in a sort of surrender. "I have more than enough space, and I'll hardly be there with work and everything. You can stay, we can get you some clothes and shit, you can figure out what you're gonna do, then leave. It's up to you. I just figured I'd offer, Jax. I don't want you to be stuck in a fuckin' motel or something." Scarlett shrugged dismissively, but I could tell she was anxious for my answer.

I could use the place to stay, that was for sure. She was nothing but nice and helpful to me, how could I continue to be such a dick? It was for her own good, but fuck it was killing me. I could tell it was taking a toll on her, too. Had we really become that attached already?

I figured I could still try to distance myself even if we were under the same roof. "Um, yeah," I answered on a laugh. "That'd be great, Scar. Really. Thank you." I made my way around the bed to give her a big hug, completely forgetting my choice of clothing, or lack thereof.

She stiffened in my hold, but still hugged back, making me realize this was the first time we'd actually shared this type of contact. I couldn't keep myself from letting her scent overwhelm me. I would've been consumed by it if I didn't notice her cold, soft hands on my bare back so much. The exchange almost felt better than the showers.

Unfortunately, I let her go with an awkward smile. Scar had the same expression on her face. She laughed a bit, then said, "I'll take the day you're supposed to get out off. Help you get settled and everything. I'll come check on you later." She slowly backed out of the room with a complacent smile.

When she was gone, I let out a huge sigh. I knew getting away from her was gonna be hard, but holy fuck. I had no idea she, or any woman after Tara, could do this to me. I was in for one wild fuckin' ride.

* * *

I had all my shit together and I was ready to go. My knee bounced up and down while I sat on the bed waiting for Scar to show up. I couldn't wait to be out of here. To be outside, to not have to smell disinfectant 24/7. This was gonna be the best day I'd had in a long time.

My eyes were on the TV when I heard, "You ready, killer?" Come from the door. Knowing it was Scar, I turned with a smile on my face and a witty reply ready. I was stopped when I saw her, though. She didn't look like the Scarlett I knew. She had her hair down in bouncy, natural curls that fell down to the middle of her shoulder blades. She actually had some makeup on, but not too much. Her cut-off jean shorts were showing me almost all of her long legs, until the show was stopped right above her ankle by her black combat boots. When I hit Scar's black Led Zepplin muscle tee, I had to smirk. This is who she really was.

I stood up and nodded. "Uh, yeah," I laughed. "As ready as I'll ever be." I grabbed my practically empty bag of stuff and followed her out. She waved to some people as we headed for the elevator. My eyes couldn't seem to stay off her ass. It was practically perfect. She was nice enough to pull the car up to the front for me so we didn't have to take the added risk of being spotted by anyone club related.

The drive to Lodi wasn't too long, so I figured Scar had to live right over the border. For a single woman, she was living in a huge house. I remembered she said she'd got it with her fiance, but still. How could she afford those bills? I wasn't complaining, though. The space would make it somewhat easier to avoid her.

She flashed me a smile as she pushed open the front door. "This is home," she sighed and tossed her keys onto a small table nearby. "The fridge is pretty stocked. If you want anything, just help yourself. If there's anything you want me to run and buy please don't be afraid to ask." She grinned at me blissfully, and I did it right back. The house was fairly empty decoration wise, but it was a home. She was letting me stay in her home that she shared with the love of her life, and that stirred up something in me.

Scarlett instructed me to follow her to the room I'd be staying in. It was right at the top of the stairs and the guest bathroom was right next to it. I nodded as I checked the room out. "This is nice, Scar," I admitted. The room was painted a light beige, and the queen sized bed looked like a cloud compared to the uncomfortable hospital one I'd been stuck in. "Thank you for all of this, really." I smiled to her and went to hug her. Her scent was the same, only the hospital smell wasn't as prominent. The citrus invaded my nose, and I was content.

After pulling away, she gestured towards the closed closet. "I put some of Eddie's old clothes in there. You guys were about the same size, and I could never bring myself to get rid of his stuff, so I thought you could just wear those until we got the chance to get you new ones," she told me with her natural smile. "Don't worry, I went out and got you new underwear." She laughed at herself like she always did, causing me to smile at the adorableness before joining in.

I threw my small bag on the bed and said, "I appreciate it, but I don't think I wanna be wearin' the lawyer's uptight clothing all the time."

Scar rolled her eyes in response. "Do I look like I constantly wear scrubs?" She signaled to her body, forcing my eyes to scan over it again. No, she sure as hell didn't. "He wore normal, comfortable clothes. Some a lot like what you were in when you got to the hospital, shit head. Oh, that reminds me. I got you something. I'll be back." She ran out of the room excitedly and I chuckled to myself. She really was a ball of sunshine.

I decided to check out these so-called 'normal, comfortable' clothes and I opened up the big closet. She was right; he did sorta dress like me. I was pushing around things in the closet when my eyes hit something in the back corner of the space. Even though I knew it was wrong to snoop, I pulled out the big cardboard box to get a better look. In big black letters, 'BABY SHIT' was written on the front. I swallowed hard as I opened it up to find a variety of baby stuff. Did Scar have a kid? Why didn't she tell me? If she did, where was it?

I heard her running up the stairs so I quickly shut the box and shoved it back in its hiding place before I shut the closet door. I learned my lesson on asking her about personal shit. The last thing I wanted to do was make her have a meltdown again. I'd have to figure this one out on my own.

When she appeared in the doorway, Scarlett had her hands behind her back. She stood there grinning like a fool before she showed me what she was hiding. A cell phone. "Yours was completely destroyed in the crash, and I don't have a house phone, so..." She continued to smile until I took it from her. She looked nervous as to what my reaction would be.

I stared for a moment. "Scar," I sighed, still looking at the phone. "You don't have to do all this. It's more than enough you're letting me stay here. I don't wanna be this big of a burden on you." I shook my head as I let my eyes meet hers again. This was too much.

Again, she rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up. The last thing you are is a burden." She waved me off with a small laugh. "If anything, you're doing me a favor. I've been in here alone way too long, and it's too big for that. You're giving me yet another reason to postpone thinking of selling. Stop worrying. I'm gonna go make something to eat, you hungry?"

I sighed in defeat, but I nodded. I was starving. It'd be nice to eat something that didn't come from the hospital. Scarlett rushed off to go cook, so I plopped down onto the bed. I was right in thinking it looked like a cloud. Felt like one too. Things were gonna be good. They had to be. I was only gonna be in her house until I got my feet on the ground and figured out what I was gonna do. I've been through too much shit for things not to work out in my favor this time. I'd make it all work.

* * *

 **Scarlett POV**

Jax had been with me for a week or so, and we were getting along just fine. I think he liked the fact that I wasn't around too much to bug him, even though he said he got lonely. I gave him the keys to Eddie's old car and told him he could use it to do whatever he had to do, just to be careful. I guess that was another reason I was grateful Eddie wasn't in his car or the one driving when he got into the accident.

I tried to cut back on my hours a little bit. Now that I actually had a reason to be home, I sorta wanted to be. I stopped giving away my off days to other doctors and actually started using them. I wouldn't go to work at the crack of dawn and stay past midnight in the same day. I was getting on a normal schedule again, and it felt nice.

Some nights, Jax would leave the house without telling me anything besides not to worry. I did worry, though. Clearly, I cared about the suicidal idiot, whether he reciprocated that caring or not.

It was obvious he wasn't getting the romantic feelings I'd started to develop. He'd come home late some nights with slutty girls I assumed he was used to. I didn't know if he knew I knew they were there, but Jax was decent enough to make sure they were out of my house before I got up for work in the morning.

The girls weren't even the worst part about having him around. In all honesty, it seemed as though my house guest was doing everything in his power to make me hate him. He was distant, rude at times, hell, he even went as far as being messy and leaving shit lying around everywhere. All the while, he'd walk around half naked and smirk like an asshole when he'd catch me eyeing him.

Whatever Jax's master plan was, it was working. I was annoyed from just being in the same room as him. I'd never kick him out or ask him to leave, though. I could never be that cruel to somebody, especially one is his position. I would lay down some rules, however. His shit was about to end.

I heard giggling at around four in the morning as Jax escorted his date out. I figured it was now or never. Getting out of bed, I grabbed a hoodie and threw it on over my tank top and shorts. I stomped out of my room and stood at the top of the staircase while Jax walked up it, a satisfied smile on his face.

All that was gone when he spotted me. "Hey," he greeted nonchalantly. "Sorry if I woke you or anything. Just been a while, needed that." Jax attempted to laugh his actions off. His attitude about things was only getting under my skin more.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "Really? Last night's a while, huh?" I seethed, sick of this. Bringing these whores over every night was one thing, lying about it was another. "This is getting out of hand. The girls, the attitude, the fucking mess. I feel like your fucking mother and that you're a teenager who's trying to do shit behind my back. It's like you're doing every little Goddamn thing possible to piss me off, Jax. I've had it up to here." I leveled my hand with my jaw. The action only made me feel more like a mother scolding her son.

Jax was taken aback by my confrontation at first. Then his face turned into something I hadn't seen before. Something hard, something intimidating. He was putting on his douche bag face. "You're the one that invited me to stay here, darlin'," he challenged with a mischievous look in his eye. "It's not my fault you did that without knowin' the real me. The Jax that doesn't give a fuck about what you or anyone else thinks or says. That's all on you." He looked me over before pushing past me with slight force to get to his room.

He wasn't gonna win this one. Sure, I was starting to despise him, but those fucking feelings still lingered inside of me, so I followed him. I leaned against the door and replied, "You're right. I didn't really know you. Not all of you." I shook my head as a look of triumph came across Jax's face. He was dead wrong if he thought this was all over with just that. "That side of you isn't the real you, though, is it? Let's be honest. Lay it all out on the table. I know the real Jax. He's the guy who was so depressed he lost his wife, he tried to kill himself to be with her again. He's the guy who was sweet to every nurse and doctor that came in his hospital room during the worst part of his fucking life, no matter how much they pissed him off. This whole dick, MC persona isn't you. Man the fuck up and get rid of that facade already." After the last word left my mouth, I turned to leave immediately. That was it for the night. All I could fucking handle without exploding.

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" Jax yelled without getting up from his bed. He was testing me again. I wasn't gonna give in to him. Be so mad I made him leave. I was gonna dish that shit out just as much as he was.

Slowly, I turned back around. My bitchy smile was on. "Someone who I've been nice enough to to let them stay in my home," I beamed. My tone was mockingly cheerful. "Someone who better start acting appreciative or his time here is gonna become a nightmare." With one last dirty glare in his direction, I exited Jax's room completely and headed for my own.

If he wanted to get away from me so bad, he could've left on his own terms at any time. We both knew he'd never do that, though. Not when he had this much going on with the club, the cops, just his all around life. He wanted to make me seem like an asshole and for me to kick him out. He better get used to bickering then, because that was the last thing I was gonna do. The two of us were in for one hell of a ride.

* * *

As the week went on, Jax got better about things. He still was bringing these women to my house, but it wasn't every night. He was being nicer and actually helping out around the house. I'd get home from work with the dishwasher unloaded, then loaded again. He was doing his laundry frequently, so I didn't have to see his dirty clothes all in my guest bath. Things were decent again.

Decent, but not great. We still had this weird animosity between us. Little things would annoy us both, and neither of us were one to keep our mouth shut, so we'd go off. It was safe to say the guy I'd gotten close with during his time in the hospital was almost completely gone.

Seeing this rude, on edge Jax made me think he was attempting to man up to be able to face the club with his intimidating poker face. From everything he'd told me, which wasn't much, it seemed like he wanted them to let him back in at this point. He wanted that part of his life back. When I asked him about his kids, he'd brush it off in one way and avoid it. That made me nervous. How could you not want to be with your children? If I had the chance to, I'd be on that in a heart beat...

Whatever Jax's plan was, it seemed like he had his mind set. He was gonna tell them he was alive and well and accept the consequences. I didn't care how much I disliked him, I wasn't gonna let him sign his own death warrant. Just like he tried to make me hate him, I was gonna try to change his mind about outing himself.

 **Jax POV**

She was on to me. Scarlett was being more nosy than usual, especially with shit that had to do with the club. We both knew what I was gonna do deep down, despite the chances of me getting killed because of it.

We still were complete assholes to each other, even though we had a mutual caring neither of us wanted to talk about out loud. It wasn't worth it at this point. I'd be out of her house and out of her hair soon enough.

She was making dinner when I finally heard the words I'd been dreading on the news. "Jackson Teller made it out of the crash alive," said the female reporter. I ran a hand down my face. "At the moment, there are no criminal charges being filed against him. We'll keep you informed as soon as we learn more." The polite journalist smile made me nauseous. If only she knew what she just did to me.

I heard a plate fall to the floor behind me. Quickly, I jumped up. I don't know if I was on edge after hearing the news, or worried for Scarlett, but I reacted too fast. I didn't like it.

Scar's mouth was open and her eyes were wide. "They're gonna kill you," she whispered as she began to nod. "Then they're gonna kill me for lying to them about you. Jax, you gotta-"

Cutting her off, I put a hand up. "I'm not gonna let them do a thing to you, Scar," I assured with an even tone. I sat down in a chair at the kitchen table and signaled for her to do the same. When she did, I leaned back and sighed. "I have to go see what they're up to. Whether I make it known or not. I gotta see what they know." I was looking past her shoulder at nothing. I wanted to die before, but now I had a second chance at life. Did I wanna just let them take it away?

Snapping back into reality, I watched closely as Scarlett quickly rummaged through her purse, smirking when she pulled out a ripped piece of paper. "At least do it on your own terms," she suggested, a small smile still on her face. She put the paper down and I saw what she meant.

The paper had 'Chibs Telford SOA' written on the top. Below it was his number that I knew so well. Nodding, I told her, "I can trust him. He's the best guy in the club. He won't do anything right away if I ask him not to." I continued to stare at the paper that would change my life once again until Scar sat back down, placing her hand in mine like she always did when I'd have a freak out in the hospital.

Scar pulled her phone out of her pocket and laid it right next to the paper. "You can do this," she softly reminded me. Our eyes met and I wondered why I ever wanted to stay away from this woman. Sure, I wanted to keep her safe, but maybe being together was the safest thing for both of us. She'd saved my ass more than enough times.

I swallowed hard and grabbed the phone. My shaky hands typed in the number. I hesitated before hitting 'call.' My eyes looked to Scarlett again for guidance. Her face had her soft smile. Her eyes were full of concern, but they had adoration in them, too. That face gave me the strength I needed to hit the button.

It rang once. What if Chibs was pissed off at me for hiding? It rang twice. Could I really trust him as much as I thought I could? It rang three times. Would the rest of the club even want me back? It... It didn't ring again.

"Hello?" The Scottish voiced answered with a voice full on anxiety and annoyance. I let out a shaky breath I'm sure he heard. "Who the hell is this? I ain't got time for no bullshit!"

I had to laugh at his typical response. "Man, did I miss you," I replied. My hand grabbed Scar's when she made a move to get up and leave me alone. I needed her now.

There was nothing but heavy breathing coming from the other end for a few seconds. I assumed Chibs was moving to a more private place so no one would hear us talk. "Back from the dead, aye?" I could hear the smirk in his voice, and I relaxed as my own formed.

"You have no idea, brother."


	5. Oh What A Night

_**Hey guys! Again, I'm so sorry for taking SO LONG to update! I'm definitely gonna be picking it up. Things have just been hectic, to say the least. I hope you guys enjoy this one! The next one will be super long to make up for me slacking lately!**_

 _ **Thanks to everyone with reads, reviews, follows, and faves! Let me know whatcha think!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

 **Oh What A Night**

 **Jax POV**

I sat in the back of the diner as I waited nervously for Chibs. I pulled my hat down a little any time someone would glance my way. Me hiding wasn't so people I knew wouldn't see me; it was so people I _didn't_ know left me alone. My eyes quickly shot up when I heard him sit down across from me in the discreet booth.

Chibs. He seemed so beautiful to me at that moment... In a totally, non-gay way. I was just happy to see someone I knew so well. Happy to have that feeling of comfort, even if he might end up killing me.

"Jackie boy," he started. He inhaled loudly. "You got no idea what ya put us through, do ya?" He slowly shook his head, but kept his eyes locked on mine. I could see all of his feelings in them... There was the joy of me being alive, the fear of having to kill me, and the rage of me letting him think I was dead for so long.

I cleared my throat and sighed. "I do know, Chibs. It hasn't quite been a damn walk in the park for me, either," I retorted. I know I put the MC through hell, but, shit, I almost fucking died. "I wanted to call you sooner, but I was scared, man. For a while, I thought I could escape the life and still live, until I realized there's no escaping. I'm stuck. I'm screwed. I'm damned. Always have been." My gaze drifted downward. I disgusted myself.

 _Too much of a coward to even look at him, sweetheart?_

My eyes widened as I heard the voice of my mother. Knowing it was in my head, I didn't let myself have another reaction. I couldn't let Chibs think I was going crazy... I wasn't. I couldn't be. How could I be hearing fucking voices now?

 _I've just been waitin' for the right time to make an appearance. Miss me?_

"No!" I blurted out without thinking. Almost every set of eyes was looking in my direction now, including Chibs's.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "No? All I'm saying is at least meet with Tig, too," he continued, not realizing I was responding to my mother - or my mind's version of her. "Ya know he's the clever one. He's got that way with words. Makes ya feel uncomfortable yet safe at the same time. Plus, he misses ya, Jackie. We all do." His gaze was intense. It had that certain fatherly look that only he could offer me. My dad's was always different, more of a hopeful one, and Clay's was always... Well, fucked up, to say the least.

Taking a sip of water, I nodded. "You're right. He should be brought in on this," I agreed. I started to smirk. "I miss all the guys, too, but just make sure Tig keeps his damn mouth shut. I know the guy has always had a hard on for me. At least just a little bit."

Chibs chuckled in response. It was nice to hear. "Aye, he's had one for all of us a few times," he joked. I missed this shit. The joking with my best friend. The conversation with someone who wasn't focused on my health 24/7. "I do have one question for you, though, brother." His face turned serious. Very serious.

I gulped. I had no idea what it could be about or why. What could he possibly wanna know?

 _Maybe he wants to know why you didn't make sure you died. Should've gone with something that would definitely finish the job. Gun to the temple, in the mouth, to the forehead. The list goes on._

I gripped the table as her voice traveled around in my head. Though Gemma had a point, I couldn't give a shit. She killed my wife. The mother of her grandkids. A monster like that could never be right.

I focused back on Chibs and raised my eyebrows. "Who's the doctor lady?" He questioned. Oh no. He knows. This conversation was inevitable. "She lied for ya, didn't she?"

Nodding, I looked away from him. "She was just trying to help me out," I admitted quietly. There was no reason to lie now. He knew, and Scar was, at least for the moment, in my life. "She was giving me time to figure out what to do. Then... Then she offered me a place to stay. She's done a lot for me through this all, Chibs. She's a good friend." I let my eyes lock back on his. He was studying me, trying to see how much truth my statement had. Chibs always had a knack for sniffing out bullshit.

 _Wonder if he'll figure out that she's more than just a friend. We both know you're starting to like this tramp, Jax. Get the hell away while you can. She's no good for you._

"Go to hell," I whispered so quietly that I knew Chibs couldn't hear. I didn't have feelings for Scarlett. I mean, if I did, they were small. Mainly out of debt to her for everything she's helped me with.

I heard Chibs cough a little. I couldn't tell if it was to get my attention, or just a coincidence. Probably a mixture of the two. I noticed he was gritting his teeth while he watched me. He was thinking of what to say.

He shifted in his seat and sighed. "Ya know you're gettin' her involved in all this, brother. Whether ya mean to or not," he assured me quietly. His cold, hard eyes were telling me what he didn't want to... Basically if Scarlett ever said or did anything against the club, I'd be held accountable. That was if they didn't decide to kill me, first.

I nodded in response. She knew what she was getting into when she helped me. We both did. We both knew the consequences we may have to face, but I was going to do all I could and more to make sure they didn't hurt her, in any way, shape, or form. She meant too much to me.

Wanting to change the subject, I quietly asked, "Whattaya think they're gonna do with me, man?" I was shaky and my throat was dry. Thinking about my possible fate had become unnerving. "I don't wanna die anymore, Chibs. I got a second chance to do this life thing for some damn reason. I don't wanna fuck it up and lose it all this time... My life just began again, it can't be over this quick." Tears burned my eyes as I fought to hold them in. I didn't wanna let myself cry in front of him.

 _Man the fuck up, Jackson! Sitting here crying over your life. I'm so disappointed in you. This is the life, sweetheart. You live for it and you die for it, so suck it up. I sure as hell didn't raise a pussy cry baby!_

My head-mom was getting to me, causing my tiny tears to turn into sobs. There was no holding them back at that point. All the fear and frustration was making its way out of me.

Chibs grabbed my hand on the table and held it tightly. "I don't know the plans yet, Jackie Boy," he admitted in his gentle yet stern voice. I felt his eyes watching me closely. "I will tell ya that I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure you don't meet Mayhem, brother. All of our boys will, I promise."

It calmed me down almost instantly. "Thank you," I said on an exhale. Chibs always kept his word. He'd try and try again to help me out of this fucked up situation.

 _Should you even be helped? I mean, you caused this mess. It's your fucked up situation, darlin'. It's all on you._

I looked down and squeezed my eyes shut tight until it was painful. Something needed to take my mind off of head-mom's voice. She had valid points, but the real life Gemma was crazy. Head-mom could only be fifty time crazier, at the very least.

I stayed with my eyes shut until Chibs patted my hand with a sigh. I looked up to see him leaning back into his side of the booth with a small smile. "So," he began lightly. "Tell me what's been goin' on, brother. How's life? More importantly, how is Dr. Sexy doin'?" He smirked at me, and I knew things were gonna be back to normal faster than ever.

* * *

A few hours later, it had become late and I was headed home happily. Chibs and I spent the rest of the night bullshitting and acting like old buddies again. It was good to be around someone from home. I missed them all so much. It proved to me even more that I wanted to live.

Head-mom had made several more appearances and was annoying the fuck out of me. She wouldn't stop. She came out of no where, and I didn't know how to get rid of her. Some of her comments made me think for a minute or two, but, again, crazy Gemma = even crazier head-mom.

She tried to convince me to stay at a motel instead of heading home to Scarlett... An idea I'm glad I turned down as I pulled into the driveway of the large house. Being in said house made me happy, and even though it wasn't my home, it sure felt like it.

 _Last chance to get outta here. You don't need to be with yet another goody goody doctor, sweetheart. You can do better than that._

I gripped the steering wheel tightly after I shut off the car. "Like what? What's better for me, huh?" I wondered aloud. Responses to head-mom were bubbling up inside me, so I was glad I was finally alone and in a stopped car, not having to worry about crashing from anger. "Should I go be with some sweetbutt who's only good for gettin' my dick wet? Who only wants to be with me because of the club, not because of who I actually am?!" I was breathing heavily. How could I let my own mind get me this worked up?!

 _That's who you're meant to be with! Those girls are perfect for you, Jax. Better than the tramp in there. Think about it._

Getting out of the car, I took a deep breath and smiled at the door as I thought of Scarlett. "I have thought about it," I said evenly. "And I'd rather be with someone who can treat an STD than give me one."

 _Fine. Whatever you say. You'll learn eventually that mother knows best. Always have, always will, sweetheart. Oh, and just make sure you don't marry this one. I won't be around to kill her for ya._

I grindied my teeth together hard as I reached the front door. I paused while I waited for myself to calm down. If Scarlett saw me upset, she'd interrogate me about it and she knew me too well for me to lie to her and get away with it. I didn't want her to know about head-mom.

When I relaxed enough, I entered the house with a small smile and was met with music. It was the only thing louder than head-mom, who wouldn't shut the fuck up. I smirked when I realized what song it was. December 1963 by The Four Seasons. Great song.

Finally, after a bit of searching, I found the source of the music and was pleased by it. Scar was at the sink doing this dishes while swaying her hips a little and belting out lyrics. She once told me that she went on cleaning binges when she was stressed, so it made sense she wasn't making use of the dishwasher right next to her.

"I felt the rush like a rollin' ball of thundaaa!" She sang joyfully. A grin spread across my face. "Spinnin' my head around and takin' my body under!" Her singing wasn't too great, but those dance moves?! I could watch those all day.

Scar spun around when she heard me laugh. She had the most adorable smile on her face. "Shit! You scared me!" She exclaimed with a small giggle. "Let me finish these up then we'll talk!" She had to shout over the loud music, and it only made her look cuter. Fuck, what was she doing to me?

She spared me one last smile before turning back to the dishes, and I couldn't help myself. My feet wouldn't stop moving, even if I wanted them to. Something inside me wanted me to hold her, so I did. I wrapped my arms around Scarlett's waist from behind as soon as I reached her.

I felt her tense up for a millisecond before relaxing and slightly leaning back into me as she continued her cleaning. I brought my face to her hair so her citrusy scent could invade my nose. It was heavenly. I held her tighter when she sighed contently. She was happy. I was happy. This was happiness.

Scarlett turned around in my arms and place her hands on my chest. "You could at least help me out by dryin' a plate or two," she joked with a grin. I imitated the expression immediately. "What's gotten into you, killer?! Mr. Affectionate all of the sudden, huh?" Her eyes scanned my face expectantly. It was clear she felt the same way I did, in the romantic sense. She just didn't know I felt that way. She was more obvious and oblivious than I was.

I shrugged, and told her, "I'm just happy to be here right now. Happy to be here with you." Scarlett cocked one eyebrow curiously with a smirk on her face. "You've been there with me through this all. You've become my best friend, and you've done so much. No words can tell you how much I appreciate you, Scar." My eyes locked on hers. This all felt so comfortable and right.

She smiled shyly and moved her hands from my chest to place them on my face. "You've done a lot for me, too. Without even realizing it," she replied quietly. She let her thumbs rub my cheeks. "So thank you. You've gotten me somewhat back to normal, in a fucked up way. You're not the only one who's appreciative." Our eyes lingered even longer this time. Hers flashed to look back and forth at mine, while mine just studied her face in general.

As always, she flashed me another cute little smile and went back to work on the dishes. I held on for a second longer before letting go with a sigh. A sadness washed over me, and I didn't know if it was sadness from her being out of my arms, or me being upset that I might be falling for her.

I went back up to my room to shower and pass out. I needed sleep, and I had a feeling I'd get a good night's rest for the first time since the accident. I'd occasionally get dreams of the semi hitting me, and they fucking sucked and kept me up for the rest of the night.

Immediately after I shut my door, head-mom was back with a vengeance. She was rambling on and on and on and on. She was pissed at me, too. What did I do to cause this shit?!

 _I can't believe that little whore! Being all over you like that?! And you, too! The hell's wrong with you? What about Tara, Jax? You just gonna forget about her for this one?!_

I sat on the bed and placed my head in my hands. "Of course not," I told her sternly. I'd never do such a thing. I couldn't. Tara's been on my mind since the day I met her, and it'd always be that way. "I can have feelings for another woman. I can do whatever the hell I want." I squeezed my eyes shut tight again. I didn't wanna deal with this.

 _Even if this one isn't bad for you, we both know she's gonna die if you're with her. That's what happens to anyone who loves you, sweetheart. Why not spend your time with someone fun if they're gonna be dead in the end anyways?_

Fuck. This was gonna be a long night.

* * *

 **Scarlett POV**

Did Jax have feelings for me? Feelings beyond gratitude and friendship? I mean, who holds a friend they way he held me? Who smells their friend's hair like that?! It sure as hell seems like he's feeling something.

I felt like a Goddamn 14 year old girl, up in the middle of the night stuck thinking about some boy. How could I let some guy get so far deep under my skin?! Nobody had made me feel that way since Eddie.

Sure, I'd been on a few dates. I slept with one of them. None of them made me feel anything, though. I could never tell if it was because there was no connection, or if it was because I just missed Eddie so much, but it was always nothing.

Until Jax, that is. As soon as I saw him, I felt something. It made me nervous at the time, and it still does. I always knew even being friends with Jax Teller was dangerous, and I was experiencing more than that.

A knock on my door broke me out of my thoughts. Speak of the devil, of course. Jax slowly opened the door with a slight creak. "Scar? You up?" He carefully asked.

I quickly adjusted myself in bed. I didn't wanna have some sort of double chin from the angle he'd see me from when he made his way in the room, even in the dark. I wasn't ready for him to see my ugly side yet.

I fake yawned. "Yeah, what's up?" I answered in a faux sleepy voice. For some reason, I felt like I had to take being asleep so he wouldn't even come close to suspecting I was up thinking about him at 2am.

Jax stepped into my room slowly. "I, uh... Shit. I've been having these, like... D-dreams, lately," he stammered. I smirked a little at his fidgeting. It made me curious what he could be so nervous about. "Look, I don't want you to get the wrong idea or think you gotta say yeah, but I hate sleepin' alone as is, and with these dreams... Can we, ya know, sleep together? Just sleep. Nothin' more, nothin' less." He continued to fidget.

After thinking about the pros and cons for a moment, I agreed. "Alright. As long as I don't wake up feeling any morning wood on me, killer." I winked at him in the dark, knowing he could faintly see it.

He chuckled as he all but sprinted to the bed. "Hey, I can't make any promises on that one, darlin'," he teased and slid under the comforter. "I have noooo control. Especially when I'm in bed with a pretty lady."

I stiffened when I felt him move closer to me. I didn't think I was ready for that yet. Not in the bed I shared with Eddie. This was the first time anyone had been in the bed with me since Eddie, I realized, and the thought of that made my stomach drop.

Was I betraying him by letting another man in our bed? It had been 15 months since his death... But the thought of it being too soon lingered in the back of my mind. I couldn't disrespect him like that... I missed him so damn much.

Jax shifted again. "Everything alright? You don't seem like yourself," he mumbled, clearly on the verge of falling asleep.

Hell, he'd always been honest with me. Might as well return the favor this time. "I'm just missing Eddie a lot," I admitted with a loud sigh. An odd feeling hit my stomach as the words left my mouth. "This is the first time anyone has been in the bed with me since he died. It feels... Strange." I laughed once, mirthlessly. The more I thought about it, the more wrong it was feeling to have Jax in bed with me. However, it felt so normal and right at the same time.

This time, Jax was the one getting tense. "I'm sorry," he breathed. His tone was as soft and gentle as his voice was. He meant it, but what was he sorry for? Asking to sleep with me or that I said yes? Either way, he shouldn't have been sorry. "Do... You want me to go?"

Did I? I really didn't know the answer to that question. I felt safe with Jax here. I felt warm on the inside... I felt happy. It all felt like this was how thing we're supposed to be... But Eddie... Eddie would want me to be happy. He'd be upset that there was another dude in our bed, but he'd be glad I was finally feeling something for someone again.

Slowly, I moved closer to Jax and relished in his warmth. "No... Stay," I ordered. We studied each other's faces in the dim light provided by the moon shining through the window. His face was so soft, so beautiful. How could anyone be afraid of this sweet man?

I snuggled up to him, laying my body in his right arm and my head on his bare chest. For a moment, he didn't move. He lay still until I grabbed his other arm and placed it on mine so both were thrown across his stomach.

Jax exhaled deeply before pulling me close and settling into bed. He took another whiff of my hair as he began to rub my arm slowly. We were supposed to be like this. It wouldn't feel so perfect if we weren't. "I like this," Jax murmured so low I almost didn't hear. "You make me feel like I'm a good guy. I like that." His face turned to my hair again.

I shut my eyes and smiled. That was good to hear. I responded, "I like it, too. You are a good guy, Jax, and you make me feel good enough. Even if you are a giant ass-faced douche sometimes." I couldn't suppress my laugh from my words.

My whole body shook as his did from chuckling. "Yeah, I guess I can be an ass-faced douche," he agreed in a mocking voice. "Just like you can be a crazy little bitch sometimes."

He pressed my hand down before I could jokingly slap him. Guess he was starting to know me as well as I knew him. I propped myself up to look at him and noticed how tired he looked... Like he hadn't slept in days. I put my hand on his face and rubbed his cheek like I did in the kitchen. His stubble scratched my fingers, and I loved the feeling.

"Must be why we go so well together," I offered with a small smile. My eyes wouldn't stop staring at his face. I never wanted this moment to end.

Jax nodded with his typical smirk/smile. "Yeah, now lay back down so I can be weird and fall asleep smelling your hair."


	6. Playing House

_**Okay, hi! I'm so sorry. I know it's been seriously forever since I've given you guys a chapter, and each time I say it's gonna be quicker we'll, this time it actually will be. The reason it's taken so long is because I've just lost motivation. I've been feeling very down and not like myself the past few months, so I apologize. But I'm back! I tried to get this one out quick, so I'm sorry if it seems like my writing is rushed. Either way, please accept my apologies and enjoy!**_

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 **Chapter 6**

 **Playing House**

 **Scarlett POV**

It had been a few days since Jax slept in my bed that first night. He continued to do it every night since, and I loved it. Nothing romantic had happened between us; there wasn't a kiss, wasn't a huge confession of feelings... We were just us, and, for the moment, I liked that. It wasn't complicated or serious, but at the same time, it wasn't nothing. We both knew how we were feeling about the other, and that was okay.

I sensed sleeping in bed with me was helping Jax cope with all of the shit going on with the club. That Chibs guy had reached out to him only one time, and he was very vague. Jax told me he only said that Tig was on board with the situation, and that he'd call if anything came up or if they found anything out. Well, that sent Jax into a frenzy. He'd pace, run his hands through his growing hair, yell at me then quickly apologize. It was killing me that I couldn't help much.

All I could do for Jax was listen, and not snap back and scream at him for freaking me out just as much. All I could do was sit and hold his hand. All I could do was see the pain in his eyes. All I could do was... Nothing.

I was sitting at my kitchen table with a cup of coffee while searching for ways to help with anxiety. The low hum of the TV was the only thing filling my ears until Jax came down the stairs, yawning loudly. "God damn, I couldn't sleep at all last night," he groaned as he grabbed himself some caffeine. I couldn't help but watch him. His bare back was so beautiful to me. The muscles, the tattoo... Jesus Christ. He stirred shit up in me that even Eddie didn't. "You know I can feel your eyes burning holes in my back at this point, Scar." I smirked. He didn't even need to turn around. We knew each other too well.

Turning back to my phone, I sighed. "Can't help it. You just put yourself out there! You're practically asking for me to stare," I teased. Jax chuckled and moved behind me. He threw both of his arms around my shoulders and leaned down to place his head on top of mine before taking his usually sniff of my hair. It was instinct to lean back into him at this point. "You're such a weirdo."

He made a noise that was in between a laugh and a sigh, and it sounded so sexy coming out of him. He held me tighter and whispered, "That's why we get along so well, darlin'." I put my hands on top of Jax's as I looked up to meet his eyes. "Takes a weirdo to know a weirdo, and I'd say you're definitely a major weirdo." He winked before kissing the top of my head and letting go. My heart ached a bit when he released me, just like it always did when our embraces would end, or when he'd get out of bed first.

I rolled my eyes and once again went back to reading. That was, again, short-lived due to the questioning look Jax gave me. "I'm reading about ways to manage anxiety and panic attacks," I admitted to him. I watched his face closely as he sat down next to me, scared he'd get upset. Instead, though, he nodded.

"They have any good tips?" He wondered hopefully. I could see all of this was torturing him even more than I thought. He was sleeping less and less, along with getting needy before I'd leave to go to work. It was like he didn't wanna be alone. "I... I can't deal with any of this shit, Scar. Yeah, I've been scared before, but not like this. This shit... It's just so different. It's takin' the life outta me." He looked down and away from me.

My heart was breaking from seeing him like this so much. "Hey, we'll figure something out," I promised. I lifted his face up by pushing on his chin. I let my hand linger there. "I'll find a way to help you. I'm your doctor, so I mean, it's kind of my job. After you're better you can FINALLY get out of my hair! Thank God!" I had to joke to try and lighten the mood. The smile that arrived on his face when he rolled his eyes at me made it worth it.

Jax leaned into my hand that was still touching his face. "Thank you," he quietly replied. "You saved my life and you make it great every day. Thank you, Scarlett." Our eyes were locked for a moment. He slowly started to move in closer to me, and I copied the movement. This was it. He was finally going to kiss me. I could feel every butterfly, every nerve, making me as excited as I was nervous. It was like I was 14 again. This was it... Until his phone rang.

He groaned as we both sat back in our chairs. I couldn't help but laugh a bit at the pout he had on his face. "I have to get to work anyways," I sighed. Jax nodded, staring at the phone. I could only guess that it was Chibs. Nobody else besides me had his number. That's what he told me, at least. I walked over to him to wrap my arms around him like he did to me earlier. "Keep me updated. Maybe we can pick this up when I get home." Jax smirked in response as I winked and made my way for the door. The last thing I heard was him nervously answering the phone. God, I hoped he'd be okay.

 **Jax POV**

"Hello?" I answered sheepishly. I hated feeling scared, and I hated showing it even more, but I couldn't keep it in anymore. This shit was consuming me. The only thing keeping me in touch with reality was Scarlett, and she wasn't here right now.

I heard Chibs sigh on the other line. "Jax, you doin' alright?" He questioned. Wasn't that the million dollar question.

I closed my eyes and told him honestly, "I'm doin' the best I can, brother. I'm constantly on edge. I'm havin' a hard time sleeping. It's hard." My head went to my hands like it was doing a lot lately. If I didn't stop myself, all the hair that was growing in would be gone again from me pullin' the shit out.

"I'm sorry," Chibs replied. "I hate that yer goin' through this, Jackie Boy. I wish I could make this all go away with a snap of me fingers. I do have some good news, though." I instantly perked up as soon as his voice did.

Standing up from the chair, I began pacing. "Yeah?! Shit, lay it on me, then," I ordered with excitement. This could be huge for me. He could've talked to the other presidents, heard their thoughts on everything. This could be good.

Chibs let out a long breath. "The boys all agreed to make a case for ya when we meet with the other presidents," he quickly spat out. This was good, but I could also tell there was something else... Something bad. "There's no guarantee anything will change, though, Jax. Nothin' like this has ever happened before. Our boys voted for Mayhem only because you told them to. They didn't want this, brother. So now we're in a bit of a pickle. We need to take it to the presidents, make our case, see what they say."

I nodded to myself. I knew that this was coming; it was only right. The other presidents needed to be involved. Especially after what I did to my uncle Jury. "Okay," I firmly replied. "Is there anything I can do? I mean, do you think I should be there?" my hand that wasn't holding the phone was fidgeting and picking at itself. I hope Scar saw some good shit for this anxiety. Ugh.

He took some time to respond, to think over what I had asked. Understandable. My presence could be helpful, or harmful. "Good question," Chibs laughed. I knew it wasn't humorous, but more of a stressful laugh. It was obvious this bullshit was hard on him. "Ya know what... Be there, brother. You can make yer own case along with the rest of us, I think it'll look good. Show ya got some balls, even if they might've been ran over by a truck!" He laughed again, this time loud, and clearly out of humor.

Of course, I joined in. Chibs was an asshole, but he was _my_ asshole of a best friend. I chuckled along with him before stating, "My balls are fine! I can assure you all my business down there is fine. I've tested everything out, and we're runnin' good." I smiled to myself while remembering all the pussy I had gotten lately, even if I hadn't gotten any from the one woman I wanted it from. Those broads were the only thing making me feel like my old self. I might be gettin' soft, but this dick ain't.

"Oooohhh! I see the doc has been keepin' ya busy! She good in the sack?" He teased me. Again, I only wished I'd fucked Scarlett. God, just imagining it drove me nuts. I knew she'd be amazing.

I sighed through the phone. "No, not her," I admitted with a sad tone. "Random hoes I used to get my dick wet, and to piss Scar off slightly. I wanted to push her away. Now, though... I never want her out of my life. I don't know which way I want her in it, but I just need her around, Chibs. When she's not by my side, it's like some fuckin' switch flips and makes me on edge. She's become my security blanket, I guess." I ran my hand through my hair. I hated myself for having feelings for her. I knew she'd only get hurt around me. Head-mom assured me of that.

 _I didn't assure you of anything that wasn't the truth, baby. You're poison to any woman you get near. Look what happened to me!_

Gritting my teeth, I ignored her. I was glad I did what I did to her. She was a disgusting, vile, manipulative bitch who killed my wife. She deserved nothing more than that bullet to her brain.

Chibs cleared his throat. He hadn't asked me anything, so it wasn't it grab my attention... He had to be thinking something over. He had to be debating something in his mind.

It was a moment more before he finally spoke, "Jackie Boy... Do ya wanna see the boys? I know they wanna see you now that they know yer alive and well. It might be good to get on the same page before meetin' with the presidents."

A grin grew on my face. I wanted nothing more than to see my club again. "Yeah, man!" I exclaimed. I felt like a kid getting to see his buddies for a sleepover. "Should I come see you guys some time this week? Should we meet at the diner? What's the plan?!" My hand ran through my hair again, but not in the usual, stressful way. It was excitement.

"Well..." Chibs began. "I was thinkin' we could come to you. Come see yer new digs." His tone was different. He had an ulterior motive, I just couldn't tell what.

I swallowed hard. Could I let them come to Scar's? Could I bring this shit into her home? I was confident she'd be cool with me connecting with the club again. She wanted to help me, and she'd know this would do just that. "Okay, yeah. That's cool," I answered. I smiled, this might all work out. "I'll let you know what days Scarlett works next week and you guys can-"

Chibs quickly cut me off. "Oh no, brother," he quietly interjected. "Make sure she's there by yer side. We wanna meet this lass."

 **Scarlett POV**

Work sucked. All I thought about was how I wanted to be home with Jax, and about how he almost kissed me. It finally confirmed my feelings about him, and, more importantly, his feelings about me.

We were good together, but I had my worries. We'd been in our own little bubble for so long, things might be different when he gets back in the swing of things in the real world. I didn't know what I'd do if I lost him... He'd become a part of me, basically. He was everything.

I'd just finished checking on Mr. Harper's breathing after his second heart attack when my phone buzzed. I smiled instantly.

 ** _Jax:_** What time do u get off? U coming right home after?

 _ **Scar:**_ Be home before 5. What, you miss me already?! ;)

 _ **Jax:**_ Obviously! Need to finish what we started earlier! But need to talk about stuff.

Stuff... What stuff? What did he mean by STUFF?! The vagueness drove me insane. He couldn't be mad at me after the words in that same text. Why the hell do men always have to be so goddamn confusing?

 _ **Scar:**_? What do you mean?

 ** _Jax:_** Don't worry. Get back to work. Talk later

Again with the vagueness. I fiddled with the diamond ring around my neck. Whenever Eddie used to tell me we needed to "talk," it was never good. This couldn't be either.

* * *

My nerves got the best of me for the rest of my day at work. I felt like I was going to throw up I was so anxious for this talk. I didn't know what it was that had me so nervous. My relationship with Jax was different now... He wouldn't do or say anything terrible.

I slowly walked into the house. "Jax?" I called out. There was no answer. As I walked further, I heard the shower on. I sighed as I put my purse and keys on the coffee table. Looks like I'll have to be on edge for a few minutes longer.

I figured I'd start dinner. I was starving, and even though Jax can cook when he wants to, it's rare. I understood it just wasn't what he was used to, but it fucking sucked sometimes.

After pulling a box of spaghetti out of the pantry, I turned on my music. I'd hoped it would calm me down. Music was a constant in my life after I lost Eddie. It got me through so much, so I had high hopes for now.

Thinking of Eddie, I wondered if Jax would even be telling me anything terrible. What if he was just leaving me? That wasn't that bad, right? He would be living his life and getting back to normalcy.

Ugh. The thought of him leaving me hurt even more than any words he could say would. Like I'd said before, he'd become a part of me, even if we weren't even in any sort of relationship. Jax made my life so different, in such a good way.

I jumped a bit when I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist. I smiled when that familiar smell came into my nose. Jax let out a content sigh before stating, "I would've cooked. You worked all day, you shouldn't have to make dinner, too." He was so full of shit. He liked to make himself seem sweeter than he was sometimes. Guess that was just his Charming charms.

I turned around to face him as I rolled my eyes. "You're such a little liar," I teased quietly. Being this close to his face reminded me of this morning and I could feel the heat rushing to my face. "Women have done everything for you since you were a sperm. Don't know why you'd think I'd believe that was gonna suddenly change now, you goof." I brought my arms up so they'd wrap around his neck. I wanted him to know I was more than ready to have that kiss. I practically needed it at this point.

Jax chuckled wholeheartedly at my comments while simultaneously holding me tighter. "You're right, you're right. I hate doing shit like that for anyone else," he nodded. A smirk grew on his face as he let our eyes meet. "Unless it's you. I'd make you a five course meal if you wanted it, darlin'. You're the reason I'm alive, the reason I have a place to live, the reason I'm happy."

I couldn't stop the smile from growing on my face. Having Jax's source of happiness be me, well, that brought me my own form of happiness. Seeing him smile, seeing him want to live... That gave me a warm feeling inside that I haven't felt in a long, long time.

I wasn't waiting anymore. I let my hand slowly creep up to tangle themselves in his wet hair as I leaned in. His eyes went from my eyes, down to my lips, then back up again, asking if I was sure. I nodded lightly before our lips finally met. It was like every bone in my body was on fire. Every organ was moving inside me with the hard beat of my heart. My skin was trying to pull me forward so more of it could touch Jax.

We broke apart for a moment to look at each other when I noticed something change in Jax's eyes. I rose my eyebrows inquisitively, and he smirked in response. I then knew what that look was... It was a look of a little kid getting his first taste of chocolate; a look of lust.

He simultaneously lifted me up and kissed me again, this time with more force. I grabbed more of his growing hair as I reciprocated, but then I winced as my back hit the wall of my kitchen. "Ow!" I shouted with a laugh. Jax chuckled along with me before gently putting me down and kissing me softly. "Easy there, killer. Maybe we should take things slow."

"You're right," he replied, slightly breathless. He took a step back. "I don't want anything ruinin' this." Jax continued to stare at me with those hungry eyes, and it took everything inside of me not to jump on him again. I knew we both were right, though. This needed to go slow.

I gave him one last smile before getting back to working on dinner. He sat down at the table and just watched me, periodically giving me a smirk, or a look of approval when I'd bend over.

As I set his plate down in front of him, I remembered his text from earlier. I asked, "So... What did you have to talk to me about? Hope you're not breakin' up with me already." I had to joke. It helped get the anxiety out of my head since none of those 'tips' from earlier did the trick.

Jax let out a small laugh before I saw his jaw clench. Uh oh. Anxiety back. Big time. "It's nothing huge," he assured me. For some reason, I didn't believe him. "But, uh... I talked to Chibs, and he wants me to meet with the rest of the club." He wouldn't make eye contact with me. There had to be more.

My eyes narrowed as I tried to figure out what he was getting at. Meeting with the club was good, right? They wanted to help. It wasn't the president's meeting thing yet. What the hell was going on?

He looked up for a split second; immediately diverting his eyes once he saw the way I was watching him. He cleared his throat. "They wanna meet here," he spat out. Jax let himself look at me again. "They wanna meet here, in the house... With you here."

I tilted my head. That's what he was having such a hard time telling me? Did he think I was scared of the club? Please, I've dealt with men who've killed women with smiles on their faces. These guys at least felt bad about it.

"Okay..." I began slowly. "So what's the big deal? I'm fine with meeting the club, Jax. They're part of your life; a part I haven't really seen yet. I wanna know everything about you. It's fine!" I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but he wasn't having it.

Jax leaned back in his chair and groaned. "That's exactly it, Scarlett. It's a part you haven't seen yet, and I don't know if I want you to see it," he admitted harshly. His eyes changed again, into something more cold than I've seen. "I don't want you to be around all the violence, the death, the bad shit. I don't think I'm ready for you to see how I really am. I'm a fucking killer. I wasn't made to sit and play house forever, no matter how much I like it. Once you're involved in this shit, there's no going back." Our eyes were locked. He was trying to scare me, but I wasn't phased.

My eyes rolled and I scoffed. "You really think you're gonna scare me into not being around, huh?" I wondered with a rude tone. "I'm not some fragile little girl. I can handle your shit. Hell, that's all I've been doing since I've met you! I'm around death every fucking day, Jax. A little bit more isn't going to hurt me. I know you're just trying to protect me, but how are you gonna do that if you distance yourself from me? Hm? How is leaving me in the dark good for either of us? I'm already involved. I have been since the moment I got Jarry to keep shit quiet to protect YOU. That club is coming to my house and I'm meeting them. You can either shut up and let it happen, or fight me and throw a little fit. Either way, it's happening."

He was grinding his teeth hard. I knew I pissed him off talking back like that. Again, it was shit he wasn't too used to. He told me Tara would argue with him, yeah, but he'd always get his way. That wasn't happening here.

"Ugh!" Jax shouted. "Fine! You wanna put your life on the line by being around this side of my life, fine. Go right the fuck ahead. I'll lose you just like I've lost every other fucking good person in my life. No problem." He shook his head vigorously. He wouldn't look at me.

I felt bad. Not for saying I was gonna meet the club, because I was, no matter what, but that he felt like he was gonna lose me. I wasn't gonna let that happen. I'd lost too many people, too. We weren't gonna lose each other. Not if I had anything to do with it.

Sighing, I got up so I could sit in the chair next to him instead of across. He pulled away when I went to grab his hand the first time, but I was too quick on my second try. "Gotcha," I teased. Jax was hiding a tiny smirk. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, okay? Neither are you. Nobody is getting hurt, nobody is gonna die. I'm not letting that happen. I'm a goddamn doctor, keeping people alive comes along with the business! We're gonna be okay, I promise you. You just have to trust me." My finger tips pushed his chin up so his eyes would meet mine, finally. He nodded in response to my words.

Jax tugged on my hand so I'd move to sit on his lap. I did, and him holding me in that moment felt so good, so right. "I'm sorry," he groaned. He played with my fingers on my lap. "I just... Can't go through shit like that again. I wanna protect you. You're just so damn stubborn, I know that's not gonna happen. We're in a good place, I want things to stay this way, but when I get back with the club..."

"Things will be different," I finished for him. "I know that. I'm prepared, don't worry." I caressed his cheek and placed a soft his on his lips before I returned to my own seat. He watched my every move.

He stared at me as I put more cheese on my pasta, as I ate, as I drank my water. I raised an eyebrow and gave him a warning look, but it was to no avail. Jax was happy, the small smile on his face from watching me showed me that. I hated that this would probably end soon, but for now, it wasn't. "Alright, buddy's Hurry up and continue playing house by finishing your damn dinner. It's gonna get cold."


	7. Doctor, Doctor

_**Hey guys! Thanks for all the support of the story so far! Don't worry, even if I take awhile to upload, I'm always gonna be continuing to write the story, just at my own pace! Also, viewer discretion is kinda advised for the end of this chapter!**_

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 **Chapter 7**

 **Doctor, Doctor**

 **Jax POV**

I never used to get this nervous. I never used to be scared. Or maybe I was, but it just happened so often that it was nothing to me. Who knows anymore? I used to get worried about Tara, but not like this. That gave me a sick feeling inside as well as a warm one. Did I trust her enough I knew she'd be okay and be able to handle shit? Or was it the fact that she knew that side of me, the only side back then, from the beginning? Maybe things were different with Scar... And I didn't know how to feel about that.

Tara would never leave me. I'd always love her. She'd always be in my mind and heart. She'd want me to be happy, though, wouldn't she? Isn't that all she ever wanted for me? Fuck. Why did I feel so bad about having feelings for another woman, then? If it was just sex, that'd be a different story. I'd fucked so many broads, hell, I'd fucked Wendy before I tried to off myself. Sex wasn't the problem. The emotions were.

It wasn't that I loved Scarlett, I don't even think I was ready for that. It was the fact that I saw the potential of loving her. That freaked me out. I didn't have that with Tara. I was with her in the start as a childhood relationship that grew into more. I wasn't thinking of a future from the start. Fuck why do I have to feel at all?

I watched as Scarlett scurried around the kitchen to tidy up for the club. She wasn't scared like I was. She was only worried about how shit would affect me, and, God, that made me want her more. She caught me staring and gave me a smirk.

"I'd ask you to help, but I know you'll only get in my way," she teased me. I continued to watch her. I couldn't stop, actually. Scarlett stopped her cleaning and came over to wrap her arms around my neck from behind the chair I was sitting in. "It's gonna be okay. I'm not gonna let them do anything to hurt you or me. Relax, please." She came around to look me in the eyes. Just one look made everything in my head calm.

Sighing, I nodded. She was right, I was getting myself too worked up over all of this. "You got it ready to go, just in case?" I wondered as I tilted my head, signaling towards a drawer in the kitchen. Scar rose her eyebrows before going to grab what I was asking about: her gun. She grinned as she showed me the magazine full of hollow points. "That's my girl. Either stay by it at all times, or tuck it in your waistband. I'm not risking you getting hurt if they turn on me for any reason."

Her face twisted in pain before she shook her head in agreement. Scar knew that if anything happened to me, she had to live. It'd kill me, if I wasn't already dead, if the club hurt me and she didn't survive. Then it would've all been for nothing. Her helping me, the MC coming here, my talks with Chibs. It all was shit if I didn't protect her.

Scarlett's eyes stayed on the gun that she was moving around to examine. I was more than surprised when I found out she had it; I'd found it in that same kitchen drawer when looking for a meat thermometer for her. When I questioned why she had it, her only response was that she ain't no bitch. Valid explanation.

She tucked the .9mm in the back of her pants and came back over to me. She started to massage my shoulders, helping me release tension a bit. "Promise me..." Scar began before drifting off. She cleared her throats before continuing. "Promise me, no matter what, this won't change anything. With us, I mean. I've gotten too attached to you, Jax, and I really don't kn-"

"The only thing that'll change how I feel for you is death," I interrupted her as I craned my next to look her in the eyes. "Even then, I don't really think it'd end. I know it hasn't been years, but, fuck, it feels like it." I let my gaze lock with hers. I wasn't afraid or worried to let her in anymore; I was only afraid to lose her. Scarlett had become my person.

Her eyes lit up a bit while she twisted her lips around to try and avoid a grin. Our eyes stayed on each other in the silence. We made each other so fucking happy, it was ridiculous. She was about to reply when the doorbell rang. They were here. Fuck.

Our stare broke. Our eyes widened. It was time. It had to be done. I still didn't know how the MC would react. Would they hate that I lived? That I lied? That I was living a fucking vanilla ass life? Or would they be happy for me? Fuck, I hope they were.

Scarlett stepped away from me, her eyes flashing to the door, silently asking if she should open it. I nodded; I didn't think I'd be able to bring myself to turn the handle and allow them in her home... In what had become _our_ home.

She walked to the door and reached for the knob, but she quickly pulled her hand back. She'd done so to fluff her hair up real quick and straighten out her shirt. Scar took a deep breath and put on a fake smile before opening that door and changing shit forever.

"Hi, I'm Scarlett! So nice to finally _formally_ meet you and to see you again!" She exclaimed with a fake sense of cheer. It was the same voice she used when she spoke to me in the hospital when she was still only my doctor. I laughed once at the memory before standing up and preparing myself.

Chibs walked through the door first, which made sense. He knew the most about it all. "Ah, it's a pleasure indeed, dear," he replied with his genuine smile. He gave Scar an investigative look that lasted a moment longer than I'd like. They weren't only here to see and talk to me; they were here to study her.

I plastered a smile on my face when I saw Chibs. No words needed to be exchanged for him to immediately hug me. I was glad that he wanted me back in, at least. If none of the others did, I'd be okay with knowing my brother stayed true till the end. That feeling of loyalty was better than the MC as a whole, in my opinion.

Next came Tig. He gave Scar a hug that I knew surprised her, but she didn't let it phase her. She could deal with the creep's creepiness... She really was a keeper. She even hugged back. He, too, looked at her longer than I approved of, but in a much different way than Chibs. Again, creep.

When he approached me, I swallowed hard. He was hurting that there were so many lies surrounding me the last few months. No matter how creepy and off he was, he was a good guy, and that'd never change.

I smiled at him. "Hey, man," I began slowly. Before I could speak again, he pulled me into a tight hug that I instantly returned. "How you been? How's Venus?"

Tig nodded as we pulled apart. "She's good, she's good," he replied. He wouldn't stop looking at me. I was starting to get uncomfortable from it, but I knew this had to be hard. "Sorry, Jax. It's just... I thought you were dead. We all did, for so long. It's hard to see you alive and kickin'." He looked back at the rest of the guys, who entered the house, as the majority of them nodded and sighed.

I let out a mirthless chuckle. This shit was weird to me, too. I made peace. I said my goodbyes. I thought I reached the end. "Well, we can thank this lovely doctor right here," I admitted with a smile. Scar rolled her eyes before coming to sit next to me on the couch. The club followed suit. "Scar's saved my life and made me feel like I had shit to live for again on top of that. I would've never survived these past few months without her, literally." She placed her hand on mine and gave it a squeeze. I felt her tense up and quickly retract when she noticed the guys looking at us quizzically.

Scarlett cleared her throat. "Can I get anyone a beer?" She asked the group. I knew she was uncomfortable, even though she tried to hide it. The fake, cheery Scarlett was her coping mechanism. I had being a dick, she had being happy.

All the guys nodded and she went to fetch the drinks. Part of her just wanted to get away, another part wanted to give us time to talk alone. I appreciated that about her. She knew what I needed and wanted, even for small shit.

"So, kid," Happy began. My head snapped to look at the scary dude. He was still as harsh looking as ever. "What the hell happened? And how can I get me one of _those_?" He jerked his head towards the kitchen. Obviously, he meant Scar.

I felt my fists begin to clench. I had to stop myself. I couldn't be the guy that was falling for a girl right now. I had to be old me. 100% douche me. So I laughed. "Shit, try to kill yourself and they'll be linin' up to take care of you, to lick your wounds, among other things," I answered with a fake satisfied-looking grin. The guys nodded and laughed along with me, and it made me feel sick. I was turning into some pussy who didn't like to objectify his girl. Great.

Scar walked back into the room while we were still chuckling about her. She smiled like she knew the joke as she gave everyone a beer except herself. "You don't drink, Scarlett?" Wondered Quinn. Dude was always one of my favorites. Real nice, but real tough when you needed him to be. "Oh no, Jax didn't get you pregnant, did he?! That near death experience give him super sperm?!" I almost choked on my beer as the room erupted with laughter again.

I shook my head and tried to catch my breath before attempting to answer. Scar beat me to it, though. "God, no! Nothing like that. I'm on call tonight," she told them with her natural, small smile. Quinn made a noise of realization. "Yeah, so Jax might be out by tonight. Might have to bring home another poor, hurt stray after my shift tonight." She winked at me. It made me wanna laugh and tease her back and kiss her, but I couldn't. I couldn't show that much affection yet.

She was doing good. Letting on we had feelings, but not flat out letting them know what was up. She was staying cool, and I was takin' note, like I'm sure the guys were. I looked over and saw Happy watching her, now, too. I didn't know if he was analyzing her or fantasizing about fuckin' her. I didn't like either.

"I never answered your question, Hap," I said after clearing my throat. His eyes shifted to me and fast. The club was ready for this, and so was I. "I went through with trying to end shit, as you all know. Went and got hit by the truck. However, I fucked up by having the cops so close to me. They got the ambulance quick and got me sent to St. Thomas, where this fine piece of ass worked on me along with a few other docs. Scar had the hard part of stopping the bleeding from my head. Clearly, she succeeded. When I came to, I was a dick at first, but I told her everything after awhile. She got Jarry to keep shit quiet for me until I was on my feet again, which I got no idea why Jarry went through with it, but I ended up being grateful she did. The rest is obvious. Scar took me in, the story broke, you guys found out, and here we are." I shrugged and took a sip of my beer. I noticed all the varied looks on their faces, as well as Scarlett looking down and fidgeting with her hands.

There was silence for awhile. A long while. Everyone shared a moment of eye contact with every other person at some point during that silence. Nobody knew what to say anymore. I knew they still felt betrayed. I knew they were still hurt, even if they did want me back. This shit was not gonna be easy.

Finally, T.O. spoke, "Man, you know I love you. You know _we_ love you. You're our brother." He stared at me dead on. I swallowed hard. "But that shit? Hearin' you were alive this whole damn time? That cut deep, man. That hurt us all. What the fuck changed? How do we know you won't pull some shit again?" All eyes were on me again. All the nerves were back again.

I looked at Scarlett. Instantly I felt a wave of calmness and relief when I saw her eyes and smile. Fuck all the manly bullshit. Fuck all the cold, hard bullshit. My attention turned back to the MC. "This right here. This woman. I don't know what the fuck she did to me, but she made me wanna live again," I quietly confessed. They all looked at each other with a look on my face I had too many times when I thought a man was weak. "That might sound gay. It might make me seem like a bitch. I promise you, it ain't like that. She makes me stronger. You saw how Tara dying changed me. Scar changed me, too. Tara dying, Scar saving me... Maybe both changed me for the better. I'm not the man I was. I won't do that shit again because that's not what I want anymore. Shit has changed, but I'll tell you what's the same... I want my club back. I want it more than anything. But I also want my girl. That's how it was with Tara, that's how it is with Scarlett."

Again, silence. Tig and Chibs shared a long, knowing look. "Aye, we know you're a romantic no matter how hard you try to hide it," Chibs started with a smirk. "But are you still the same lad? We know you're different in a number of ways, but are you still that guy who is going to kill a fucker when he needs to go bye bye? Hm?" The smirk was gone. All there was was a stone cold stare.

"Maybe I should go..." Scarlett stated as she stood. She smiled to the guys and went to leave the living room.

Chibs stopped her. "No. You stay right there, lass," he ordered. I tensed up. Fuck. "You're going to hear this. All of it. You're going to know what shit pot you're gettin' yourself into. You're goin' to know what kinda _man_ Jackie Boy here is. We all are." Annnnd there the smirk was again, but it was different. More devilish and daring. He was testing her.

Scarlett slowly turned around and came back to sit beside me. Her body was stiff and hard. She wouldn't look at me; she wouldn't look at anybody. Her eyes were glued to the wall, and I couldn't blame her.

I sighed. "I'd kill for my club, no question," I answered firmly. It was the truth. Scarlett let out a small, annoyed laugh, one she knew only I could hear. She knew what my answer was going to be. We'd discussed it a million times, and she was understanding, but it still bugged her. She spent her life working on saving people, while I could go and end a life without looking back. "Keep in mind what happened after Tara was murdered, though. I'd kill for my girl, too." Time for me to give the threats and stares. Time for me to push the fuck back.

Tig grinned. "That's my boy!" He exclaimed. "There's the cold Jax I know, even threatenin' us! I love it, man. I say you're in. If I say you're in, Chibs'll say you're in. If Chibs says you're in, the boys will agree. So let's get this over with!" He stood and lifted his beer. He signaled for the rest of us to follow.

The rest of the MC tried to hide their smiles at first, but they eventually joined in with comments of how they missed me and how they were glad to have me back. "There's no guarantee until we meet with the presidents," Chibs reminded us all. "But until then, we're glad to have ya alive again, Jackie! So here's to Jax, and his lovely, lovely doctor lass, Scarlett!" Everybody clinked their beers and drank, except Scar of course. It was finally here. My life was coming back.

I grabbed Scarlett in my arms before giving her a huge kiss. The club all whistled and howled at the sight. I flicked them off and smiled into the kiss. I was falling for this woman hard and fast and I had no idea where the hell it would go, but I didn't care. She was a part of me now.

Scarlett pushed away from me slightly with a smirk. "I really enjoyed meeting you all," she said with a shaky voice. Her eyes locked with mine as she bit her lip. "But I think it's time you got the fuck out of my house. We have something to attend to."

She smashed her face on mine again as the guys all laughed and grabbed their shit. "Sounds good, doll," Tig replied. "We'll be in touch with you guys, so don't fuck too much!" I gave them a thumbs up before hearing the door slam.

My hands roamed Scarlett's body. I wanted to feel every inch of her. I couldn't get enough, and I hope I never had to.

 **Scarlett POV**

Jax ran his hands up and down my back before moving to kiss my neck. I shivered as soon as his lips touched my skin. I wrapped my fingers in his blonde hair and breathed him in. Fuck was I falling for him.

Our lips met again. I fumbled away from him to take my shirt off. Luckily, I wore my good bra today. Jax studied me up and down with a look in his eyes even more hungry that the last time he looked at me like this. "You sure, Scar?" He asked before letting himself kiss me again.

I stopped him before when I wanted to take things slow. But now? All I wanted was him. I wanted his lips, his body, his everything. I slowly reached for him and took his shirt off. My turn to study him. "Oh, I'm _sure_ ," I giggled. God he was the most perfect man I'd ever seen. He went at my neck again, but I pulled his face up to look me in the eye. "Jax? Promise me one thing. Don't hold back." Instantly, his eyes got even more devilish.

Before I knew it I was being carried upstairs and being thrown on my bed. Jax hovered above me as he kissed all up and down my body, sending chills through my spine. I hadn't felt that in a long, long time. He ripped off my pants in a flash before doing the same with his. It was all underwear now.

He stared at me for a moment, just taking me all in, and I did the same. He made me feel good about myself again. He wanted me, and that felt damn nice. "Come here," I whispered and signaled for him to get back on me. Jax kissed me hard enough it made me moan. Why the fuck did I hold out before?

Our tongues went head to head with each other for awhile before he bit my lip and pulled away. He moved down my body again, trailing it with little bites and kisses as he went. He pulled my underwear down when he got to it. Jax continued to peck and nibble my thighs before hovering over my crotch area, teasing me by only breathing and kissing around it.

"Fuck.. you.." I breathed heavily. He laughed loudly. I was annoyed and reeling, while he was amused and turned on. He wasn't gonna get away with this shit; he'd pay.

Jax's face was over mine again with a smirk on it. "Darlin', that's _exactly_ what I intend to do," he jeered. We shared another kiss that was so passionate, I almost didn't notice when he entered me. _Almost._

He groaned with pleasure and I cried out with it. He didn't even have to move and it felt fucking amazing. It took a minute of adjusting to the unbelievable feeling, but he finally started to thrust. I couldn't believe it. I didn't think sex could feel _this_ good.

I moaned louder than I ever have and dug my nails into Jax's back. "Jesus fuckin'... Ugh!" I screamed as he continued to pound into me. His thrusts got harder and began to hurt a little, but I liked it. I'd never had sex like this in my life. I was here for it.

His hands pressed down on my shoulders with force. I could already feel them starting to bruise just like I could feel the hickies forming on neck. I felt like a teenager again, and it was mind blowing. I flipped Jax over so I was on top. He grinned at me.

"You're so fucking hot," he said while looking up at me riding him. He closed his eyes and let me do the work. I put my hands on his chest and let my body glide on top of his, making us both moan some more. "If you even think about stopping, I swear to God I'll beat your cute ass so hard you won't even fucking recognize it." He looked at me again with those lustful eyes.

Smirking, I stopped. "You promise?" I winked. Jax shook his head and flipped us back over without notice. His pace grew faster and faster as he bit at my neck and shoulders again. I never felt this much euphoria from a combination of pain and pleasure. He hit my gspot hard with a vengeance. My back arched up. "Holy fuck! I swear if _you_ stop now you're dead! Jesus." Thankfully, he wasn't evil like me and didn't dare even try to stop.

We were both groaning, moaning, screaming, panting, all of the above. Jax let his lips touch mine once more before locking his gaze with mine. I couldn't control my face as much as I couldn't look away from his. I felt my mouth gape open and I felt myself bite my lip while I watched him smile and smirk at what he was putting me through.

I watched his face as Jax slowed his movements slightly and moaned. "You just might be the best thing... the best thing that's happened to me," he told me between harsh breaths. He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. I gripped his biceps tight as I felt him finish inside me right before I came. He kissed me sweetly and softly. "I mean that. Don't take it as meaningless sex talk." Jax pecked my forehead before rolling off of me.

I cuddled up to his side and let out a deep breath. "Ditto," I agreed. He twirled my hair in his fingers and gave it the usual sniff. I couldn't help but giggle. "Even after sex? Such a dork."

Jax squeezed me tight and told me, "It'll be always. Don't think you're gettin' out of the Jackson Teller hair sniff. It ain't ever going away!" He jokingly grabbed all my hair and brought it to his face. He took a huge breath in before acting like he passed out from the glorious smell.

I laughed so hard I snorted. Jax gasped and went to make fun of me, but I hit him with a pillow to shut him up. "Do not even think about it!" I scolded him. The snort was rare. He should feel lucky he got it! "We're never speaking of this again. Nobody ever snorted after fucking. Nobody ever will. So shut it!" I dove on his chest and placed another kiss on his lips. I'd never get sick of the feeling of him, in any sense.

Jax place his hands in my hair and kissed back. I adjusted myself to lay my entire body on top of him. I let my hands grab his face, like I was trying to pull him closer. Of course, just as things were getting steamy enough to start a round two, my pager went off, and we both groaned.

I broke away from him with a sigh. "I gotta go," I sighed. Jax flashed some big puppy dog eyes and a ginormous frown. I rolled my eyes and got out of bed to get dressed. I looked back and saw him with the same expression on still. "Oh stop! You know I have to go save lives!" I grabbed a pair of underwear and some scrubs out of my drawers. He still stared at me with that face.

I turned away knowing that he was gonna make me wanna jump on him again if he kept it up. I got my pants on and was working on my bra when I felt his arms around my waist and his breath on my neck. "Promise we'll pick this up again when you get back?" Jax questioned with a sultry voice. I leaned back into him when he nibbled my earlobe. "I'm not lettin' you go until you say yes." He rubbed his hands down my arms slowly and ran his fingers along my hips when he got there.

I cleared my throat and stepped away. I finished getting dressed and was putting my hair up when I turned back to him. "Of course we're gonna get back to this," I stated. There's no way I wouldn't. I mean just looking at him? _Fuck._ I had to get outta there. "I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to stop getting back to this." I ran my index finger up the center of his abs and let our lips crash one more time before finally heading for the door.

"Hey, Scar," Jax called right as I stepped out of the room. I faced him again and raised an eyebrow. "Go be a sexy doctor so we can play sexy doctor when you get home, you sexy doctor you." He laughed at himself as I rolled my eyes and giggled.

I nodded at him. "Will do, dork," I yelled back as I raced down the stairs. The butterflies were going crazy in my stomach by the time I reached the car. Who would've thought I'd ever fall for a patient? Let alone Jax fucking Teller? Being a sexy doctor has its perks.


	8. Welcome to the Jungle

_**Hey guys! Just wanna let you know this is kinda a filler chapter to tie things together, so sorry if it gets a little bit kinda boring! Thank you to everyone who follows, favorites, and especially reviews. Your feedback really motivates me to keep this up and get chapters out for you, so let me know what you think! Enjoy!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

 **Welcome to the Jungle**

 **Scarlett POV**

It'd become a sex marathon with Jax. We were doing it so much, I could barely walk. Not only was I sore from the sex itself, but from the bites and bruises he left all over me. I thought I had rough sex before... But _Jesus_. Never like this.

I was limping through the halls of the hospital and remembering my amazing night when a voice had to interrupt. "Damn, Dr. Morrison!" Tom, my favorite male nurse, shouted as he jogged to catch up with me. "Did you fall down the stairs or something? You're lookin' like you're in some pain." He stopped when I did at the nurses' station. I turned to face him and I saw he had a genuine, concerned look on his face. Oh if he only knew.

I giggled to myself slightly. "No, uh, no stairs," I stammered. Tom wasn't wanting to hear about my fuck sessions, and I didn't wanna tell him. Well not flat out, at least. "Just got a little... _Banged_ _up,_ I guess." I held in another laugh as I got a quizzical look from the nurse.

It took him a minute, but I think Tom understood. "Oh! Oh, man," he replied. I watched as he gritted his teeth slightly. "Well, I hope you feel better. Um, anyways... I was wondering if you've been to Ms. Conner's room? She started with abdominal pain but then went on to complain of sudden migraines, so Dr. Hanson wanted a neuro consult." He spat the medical stuff out fast, obviously wanting to end the conversation. I didn't understand what his issue was. I mean, it was just subtle sex talk, right?

I shook my head. "No, not yet," I admitted with a sigh as I signed a couple of charts. "I'll head over there now before I forget. Thanks, Tom!" I smiled to him and patted him on the back as I rushed off to see Ms. Conner. Tom was a good guy. He wasn't hard to look at, either. He just had his odd moments, and I could never put my finger on what it was. I brushed it off like always.

When I finally reached Ms. Conner's room, I entered with my doctor smile. Part of it was fake, but a big part was me being happy to be doing what I do, and living a happy life. I had an amazing job, a nice house, a decent car, an amazing guy, and even more amazing sex. What else could I want?!

"Hello, Ms. Conner!" I greeted the patient cheerfully. Thankfully, she gave me a small smile back. Sometimes the cheery doctor act pisses a patient off. Glad to see she was trying to be happy through the pain. "I'm Dr. Morrison, but you can call me Scarlett. I hear you're having some headaches today?" I raised an eyebrow and began to take her vitals.

Ms. Conner let out a deep breath and gave me a nod. "Yes, but it's more than a headache," she informed me quietly. "It's a terrible migraine. It feels like someone is pushing their fingers into my brain and squeezing once they reach the middle. This along with my stomach ache? It's awful." She closed her eyes tight. I could tell she was on the verge of tears, and it broke my heart.

I grabbed her chart to go over what the nurses and other doctor went over with her earlier. "Okay, so, you're 30, no history of major illness, there's no fever, your BP is a little high but that's to be expected with the pain," I said, mostly for myself but also to comfort her with the fact that I was looking at all the details. "You don't smoke, barely drink. Your last period ended two weeks ago..." And just like that, I froze.

Period. When was I supposed to get my period? It had to be coming next week. Right? The date was... Oh god. I was late. By two weeks. I was never more than a day late, ever in my life. Not except the time... Oh no. No. Noooo. _No._

I swallowed hard. This couldn't be happening. I couldn't have a kid. Especially not since it'd be Jax's, and he had all his bullshit going on. Nope. This wasn't happening to me.

Ms. Conner opened her eyes when I stopped speaking for awhile. "Are... Are you alright, Dr. Morrison?" She quietly wondered. I shook my head as if to push the pregnancy thoughts out of my brain. I couldn't think about it.

I plastered on another fake smile and sighed. "Yes, sorry! Just thinking," I half-lied. Not alright. Not at all. "Are you experiencing any nausea or is it just cramping in your stomach?" I walked up to Ms. Conner and began to test her pupillary response.

She blinked hard when I finished. "Both. The nausea got worse as the migraines came on, though," she informed me, keeping her small smile. I liked this woman. Anyone who could remain positive while being in a hospital, let alone while in massive pain, was awesome in my book.

I smiled sweetly (and genuinely, this time) back and said, "Okay. I'm gonna order a head CT, and we'll go from there." I rubbed her shoulder and offered a sympathetic look before exiting the room. I'd seen cases like this before. Chances were she had a tumor or aneurysm that I'd need to remove or clip. Basic neuro stuff.

Wishing she needed surgery was terrible, but I did. I needed to cut. I needed to get my mind off the possibility of a fetus infesting my womb. I needed to be distracted. Ugh.

 **Jax POV**

Nothing made me happier than being good with my boys again. That plus getting laid multiple times a night? Life was great. I couldn't ask for anything better.

I was at Red Woody with the club when I heard the sweet, sweet voice of Lyla Winston. "Jackson Teller, you son of a bitch!" She shouted at me as she ran in my direction. I stood up in time to hug her right as she collided into my chest. "I want to hate you and be angry and never speak to you again, but goddammit it's so good to have you alive and _here._ "

Squeezing her tight, I sighed. If anyone understood the majority of the shit I went through, it was Lyla. We both lost Opie. We both lost a spouse. We both lost ourselves. "I'm here, Lyla," I reminded her softly. "Everything's alright. You don't gotta worry 'bout me no more, okay?" I stepped back and held her at arm's length as I studied her expression. She was teary eyed and very obviously tired.

I let her go with a small smile when Tig butted in. "Yeah, he's got a lady friend now to do all the worryin'," he jeered with an annoying smirk. I was sure they already told Lyla most of what was going on. Quinn told me she got really involved with all the shit after the semi. Kinda taking on a Gemma role.

 _Ain't nobody gonna take my place, baby!_

Of course. Nobody would ever want to be a psychopathic, manipulative, muderous cunt! Lyla was _better_ than Gemma. She was genuinely kindhearted. Not faking to get you to bend to her will.

I snapped back to reality when Lyla smiled. "I heard about her," she said. I glanced in her eyes and saw her gladness that at least somebody was taking care of me. "She seems like a sweet lady. That's why I had Chibs convince her to come on over when she's done saving lives. So we can check her out." She winked and left the bar to get to work before I could blow up.

Gritting my teeth, I turned to Chibs. "You did _what_?!" I yelled. I might not be president anymore, but I'll be _damned_ if they think they're gonna do this bullshit without askin' me. "No fucking way. It's bad enough you were in her home. Hell, it's bad enough she's in any of this! Bringing her here, though? A _known_ SAMCRO facility?! _No_!" I slammed my fist down on the table. I was seething.

The club laughed right in my face. They all knew I didn't have a choice in the matter. I had no say. I had no pull. It dawned on me that, no matter how hard I tried to keep her away, Scar was in. She was in deep.

 _Look at them all laugh at you! Oh, baby. Don't you see now? Every woman you love is meant to die. Die a horrible, painful death. It's your curse, Jax!_

I put my hands on my head and let out a deep breath. She wasn't really there. She couldn't do anything to me. So why the fuck was I letting my mother torture me like this?!

Chibs tried to speak to me, but I couldn't hear him. I rushed off to the bathroom as my mom's voice continued to ring in my ears. Why me? I couldn't understand why this was happening. I was fine. I was happy. _She_ always had to ruin it all!

 _Not ruining anything, sweetheart. Just tryin' to get you to realize what you're meant for and what's good for you! Nobody loves you like I love you; nobody ever will._

I groaned as I began to splash water on my face. "Please, Gemma," I whispered. My head was in my hands again, but my eyes flashed to the door to double check I had locked it. I couldn't stop the tears from coming anymore. "Go away. I can't... I can't deal with you. _Please!_ " I began to cry harder. I was having a fucking mental breakdown.

 _Oh I'm not goin' anywhere. Not until I help you, baby! That's all I wanna do!_

I couldn't take it. I was going bonkers. "She isn't real. She isn't real. She isn't real." I kept repeating the three words to myself. Maybe I thought if I said it enough, it'd be true. Maybe it'd make it like I never had a mom. Never had someone coddle me as I grew up. Never had someone kill my wife. Never had to kill my own blood.

My mantra kept going until there was a knock. "Jax, man, we kinda need ya to come back out," T.O. told me from the other side of the door. "There's some shit we need to deal with, brother." He sounded exasperated and worried. They must've heard something from the other presidents.

I dried my face and took one last deep breath. I opened the door with a fake half smile. "Hey, man, sorry for that. I needed to-" I stopped myself when I saw what he was talking about. When I saw _her_. When I saw Wendy.

* * *

 **Scarlett POV**

Yep. An aneurysm. A huge one, too. I was shocked Ms. Conner wasn't experiencing any symptoms before today. If she was, she made the mistake of shoving them off until the pain became unbearable. Her surgery was a top priority since she was at a huge risk of rupture, so I had to perform it as soon as I ate. Ugh. Poor lady.

I sat in the cafeteria as my stomach growled. I prayed I was only eating for one. I smiled when Tom and Dr. Hanson sat on either side of me. Dr. Leah Hanson was the closest thing I had to a best friend. Besides Jax, she was the only person I felt comfortable telling everything to. She was great, even if she was _just_ a general surgeon.

Tom groaned and opened his pop. "Sucks about Ms. Conner, huh?" He whined. Everyone who interacted with this woman liked her. "I can't think of anyone who deserves that shit less. You better do good work, Scar! Or else I'm comin' after ya." He flashed me his white, bright grin.

Leah laughed. "Hey, we all know St. Thomas has one of THE best neurosurgeons on the west coast!" She exclaimed proudly. I scoffed and shook my head. I was _okaaayy_. "The patient will be fine. What I really wanna talk about is how things are going with Mr. Motorcycle killer hunk!" She took a bite of her apple a moved closer to me. She loved gossip about anything.

Rolling my eyes, I pushed myself out of my chair and stood up. "That'll have to wait," I informed her with a sigh. "Ms. Conner's surgery is about to go down, so I get to take one more bite of this sandwich then go save our new favorite patient!" We would occasionally rate patients we shared, and if they were exceptionally sweet, funny, understanding, or nice, they got bumped to fave. Stayed that way until another came along.

My friends grumbled about how I never give them any details as they saw me off. I couldn't help but laugh and smile. Leah wanted to know how amazing the sex was, and Tom only wanted to make sure Jax wasn't a total psycho. They were good friends; I was appreciative.

I walked past a couple on their way out of the hospital after they recently had their new baby. It made me feel warm inside before I felt sick. There was still the chance I was pregnant, and I couldn't push it off anymore. I needed to know.

I stopped at OB on the way to the OR floor. I knew I should probably have a blood test done and have the doctors run my piss, but I didn't wanna wait. I grabbed one of the sticks and went to the lounge to take it.

The three minutes felt like three thousand. I was just rounding the two and a half minute mark when my pager went off. Oh no. 911 in Ms. Conner's room. I shoved the stick in my locker and booked it.

When I arrived, the patient was seizing. "What the hell happened?!" I asked one of my residents as I pushed people out of the way to see the screens. He was fumbling over his words and I couldn't wait for him. "The damn aneurysm must've blown. Let's get her to the OR, now!"

I pushed everyone out of the way and ran to scrub. I went as fast as I could. I was sure I had time before she'd have a hemorrhage. Fuck. Time to get to work.

* * *

I did everything I could, but Ms. Conner's bleeding was too severe. The aneurysm had grown too much. It causes way too much damage when it burst. I was too late. I couldn't save her.

After telling the family, I went back to the lounge. I sat with my head in my hands for a minute before I remembered the test, and I felt my stomach drop. I didn't want a baby now. It wasn't the right time. However, I wouldn't hate one. I'd always wanted to be a mom, and who knows where life with a baby might take me? I could see it being magical.

Sucking in a deep breath, I took the test out of my locker. Before I looked at it, I realized maybe I wanted this more than I was letting myself believe. Jax and I could make this work. We could parent a great kid. I smiled and opened my eyes.

* * *

 **Jax POV**

Scarlett walked through the doors of Red Woody and all eyes were on her. After looking her up and down, Lyla gave me a nod of approval before getting back to directing the film. Wendy, on the other hand was irate. I couldn't blame her too much, though. I did screw her then leave her with my kids before trying to kill myself.

 ** _One Hour Earlier_**

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Jax?!" Wendy slapped me in the face and screamed at me. "I, no, we, as in YOUR CHILDREN and myself, don't get so much as a fucking phone call to know you're okay?! I have to hear it from the club?!" Her face was inches from mine. Her fists were clenched. Yikes.

I didn't wanna see my boys yet. Not until I knew I was in the clear all the way and the other presidents weren't gonna kill me anyways. I didn't wanna have them see daddy only to lost him again.

I walked away from Wendy and let out an annoyed laugh. "You know exactly why I haven't contacted them, so shut your mouth already," I ordered with sharp eyes. This side of me hadn't really been out too much since I'd been with Scarlett. Being around Wendy, however, brought out the memories of me ordering around my old lady. She still had my crow on her.

She rolled her eyes and put a hand on her head. "I hear you've shacked up with another doctor," she quietly stated. I knew she was hurt that I fucked her like that and left, but I couldn't do anything about it. "I just hope she's fucking worth it, Jax. I hope she's ready for all the hell you're about to bring down on her, because I know I sure wasn't." Wendy looked me up and down before going to be by Lyla, who spared me a sympathetic glance. Life was gettin' real again.

 ** _Present Time_**

Scarlett offered me a small smile as she approached me and kissed me on the cheek. "Hey, handsome," she greeted softly. Something was off. She was probably just nervous. "That lady, who's burning a hole in the back of my skull with her eyes? Um, is that...?" She didn't have to finish. She knew who she was.

I wrapped an arm around her and nodded. "Yup. Wendy. The ex-junkie ex-wife. She's probably not your biggest fan, but that's alright," I assured her. I pulled her close and let the scent of her calm me. Lyla was approaching as I stepped away. "This is Lyla. Opie's wife. You remember me tellin' you about Ope, right? Well she was his version of you. Kinda." Lyla and I both laughed as we remembered all the crazy shit she and Ope went through. God, I missed him.

Lyla stuck her dainty hand out and Scar shook it gently. "Hi, I'm Scarlett. Of course I remember the Opie stories, who could forget them!" Scar laughed happily, but, again, there was something weird about it. I couldn't tell what, but something was definitely wrong.

After her and Lyla chatted for a bit longer, I pulled Scarlett aside and looked her in the eye. "Is everything good? You alright, babe?" I worried. Her face immediately fell as she began to sob. I embraced her and let her cry in my chest. "Hey, it's okay! Shh, what's wrong? All this shit getting to you?" I ran my fingers through her hair in an attempt to soothe her. My heart was breaking at the sounds of her cries.

She pulled back and set her gaze up at me. Our arms were still around each other when she told me, "It's not this. I can deal with all of this." She gestured around the building and wiped her eyes. "Jax, there's something I need to te-" Scarlett was cut off.

"Isn't this just sweet," Wendy mused upon getting near us. Scar quickly turned away to compose herself and dry her tears before facing my ex. "I remember getting hugs like that. Better yet, I remember my son getting hugs like that!" She grounded her teeth together hard and placed her hands on her hips. Why the fuck do I always have to piss women off?

I let out a mirthless chuckle. We literally just had this argument, but, of course, she had to bring Scarlett into it. "Wendy, enough! I'm not doing this with you! Not here!" I shouted so loud everyone stopped and stared at the altercation, but I didn't care. I was sick of this. "I'm not seeing the boys until I know I'm not gonna be fucking pumped full of lead! Are you a fucking moron?! You wanna put the kids through seeing me, then losing me all over again?! Learn your fucking place and watch who the hell you're talking to." I'd gotten closer to her and had a finger in her face. I'd never hit her, she knew that, but fuck. I came close so many times.

She licked her lips slightly and leered at me. Her evil smile made Scar tense up. "Fine. Don't see the boys. I don't care," she spat through gritted teeth. Wendy slowly walked closer and closer to Scar as she spoke. "Don't lie about your reasons, though, baby. We all know it's because of this little whore. You don't wanna lose your new toy, so you don't bring her around the kids. Smart move. Don't come cryin' to me when she bolts, though. Nobody will stick around for your shit like I have, Jackson. _Nobody."_

I couldn't tell if it was a laugh, whimper, cry, or what, but Scarlett made some kind of noise before running to the bathroom in tears. I knew her. She was tough. She was strong. She could take a lot more than a few pointed words from an irrelevant cunt. What the fuck was happening?

Wendy had a full on belly laugh going. "See!" She exclaimed. "Your little doctor can't even handle getting called a whore. Welcome to the life, sweetheart! Grow a pair in that bathroom!" She walked off and grabbed a beer. Fuck.

I raced to the bathroom to find Scarlett crying about the sink with her head hung low. I sighed and snaked my arms around her waist. "Don't let that bitch get to you, darlin'," I advised so quietly you almost couldn't hear me. "She's bitter. She's got reasons to be, but she shouldn't take it out on you. I'm sorry, Scar." I kissed her neck. I hated myself for basically being the reason all this was happening to her. Her life was changing fast since I entered it; she barely had time to stop and catch her breath.

She turned to face me. Shaking her head, she groaned. "It's not her! It's not Wendy, it's not the club, it's not any of this!" She again communicated to me. I tilted my head, as to question what was going on. Scarlett frowned hard. "I... Okay. Jax, I took a pregnancy test today..."

Fuck.


End file.
